When It Counts
by Meshelley
Summary: He had come home late that evening, the evening his world shattered, the evening her world was forever taken away. It was the evening that would forever be marked in their minds as the night he wasn’t there for her. Kirsten and Sandy drama
1. He Found Her

I don't own anything of the OCexcept for a poster I got from FOX….I wish I owned Adam or Ben…so please don't sue me…I'm a poor, soon to be college graduate….

This is my first fanfic everI came up with the idea while in the showerplease give me any feedbackanything good, bad, whateverI' m working on becoming a storyline developerso anything will help…..Thanks a million!

When it Counts 

He had come home late that evening, the evening his world shattered, the evening her world was forever taken away. It was the evening that would forever be marked in their minds as the night he wasn't there for her. The one evening in their entire lives where just his mere presence would have been enough to save them from the hell that took over their perfect lives.

He heard her first. A slight whimpering, an almost whine. Instantly Sandy Cohen knew something was devastatingly wrong. He had come home late. Too late, but he was sure she would once again forgive him. Sandy knew he was beginning to push her patience to the limit. First forgetting their anniversary, then missing Valentine's day. She had been upset with himno she had been furious with him and she was not afraid to make her feelings known.

"_Sandy, we cannot keep doing this. I cannot keep fighting for you. I shouldn't have to. You cannot keep putting another woman in front of me. You promised twenty years ago to be my number one. To be my rock and my shoulder and my life. Not hers. She gave you up the minute she ran. Your word has always been gold. I cannot make it through this world without you. Please Sandy. I will not live this way any longer."_

Walking on eggs shells she had called it. Their existence had been downgraded to a mere animal product, not the solid stone a relationship should stand on. She had let her tears fall that evening. It was the first of many. That was his fault. He knew it and the next few weeks he worked hard to make it up to her. Flowers, gifts, romantic dinners, the works. He knew she didn't expect it or even want it, but it was the only way he knew how to beg for her forgiveness without getting on his knees. And even so, as he tried to fulfill his duty as her husband, he was still helping Rebecca behind her back. He didn't like lying to his wife, it had been rocky for so long. He couldn't bear to put her through that again. He knew he would one day tell her the reason for his long nights, his early meetings and his stoic gaze at the dinner table. Until Rebecca's name was cleared his mind would always drift. Or so he thought.

"_What's on your mind Stranger?" she had asked him this morning. It was gray outside, rainy even. An oddity for the normally sunny California coastline. He was up early. Trying to pull his tie around his neck while watching her sleep. She looked beautiful, radiant even with not a splash of makeup. He was so glad she was his. _

"_Just pure awe and amazement." _

_She looked at him with her deep blue eyes and a gaze that shouted 'I love you' in the most silent way possible. It would be the last look he would get from her before he took off for workto see his second most adoring fan. His ex-girlfriend. _

The thought of her lingered as he slowly made his way down the long hall.

_Kirsten…Kirsten…Kirsten…his beautiful wife…Kirsten. _

His legs weren't working for him. They were betraying him in his time of need, much like he had done to her.

The first thing that he noticed was the blackness of the room. She usually left the bathroom light on when she went to bed before him so he would have a glimmer to get around the large space. Tonight it was uncharacteristically dark. He quietly peaked through the ajar door, just in case his radar was off, just in case she was soundly asleep. Just in case, he tried to be quiet, even though his heart was pounding through his rayon shirt and coat. That's when he first heard her. The moment time stopped.

He couldn't find the light switch. They lived in this house for years and yet tonight he could barely make his way around it.

"Kirsten…Baby?" he called out. Hoping to God she would answer him in her infamous 'why are you waking me up' tone.

She didn't.

Instead he heard a hushed moan. A whimper somewhere inside of the room. Adjusting to the dark, he looked for her.

In the bathroomdark. In the bed—empty. He was frustarated.

_Why did their room have to be so damn big! He thought. _

And that is when he saw her. Through the moonlight that gleamed from the open window. On the side of the bed. Lost within the darkness. Covered in Egyptian cotton sheets. Bound with tape and wire. Blindfolded and gagged.

His breath stopped in his chest. He ran to her and she panicked. She didn't recognize him, she couldn't see him. She didn't hear his voice trying to sooth her.

'_No!' she screamed inside of her head. 'Please not again.' _She cursed herself for sending her sons out, and yet she was relieved. She wanted to fight, but she no longer had the strength and instead she went limp into shock. Her tears unconsciously soaking up the blindfold so harshly wrapped around her head, knotting up chunks of her blonde hair.

She was wearing her pale blue silky nightgown. The one she reserved for special nights. The one that as soon as he saw her in it, chills ran up and down his spine because he knew what she had in mind. The one that he had bought years before, but she still wore because she said it was like being in his arms even if they weren't together.

"_Oh God. Oh God. Oh God…Kirsten…I'm getting you out of this…honey…please. Hold on." _Sandy lost himself. He instantly felt the tears run down his face as he gently untied his wife. Whispering words to her, he slowly pulled the harsh tape away from her mouth. It made a horrible ripping sound. One he would surely never forget. She twitched in pain. The tape left an irritated red, square residue. He prayed she would open her lips…say something, anything…but she was silent, only letting out a gasp of air. He then removed the blindfold. Her beautiful eyes were puffy and red, one was slightly bruised. He kissed her forehead. It was clammy and covered in beads of sweat.

"_I love you" _

She began to relax, unconsciously she knew it was him.

The worst were how her hands were bound. With fishing wire. It had been so tight, drops of blood pierced the skin. He tried so hard to get them off quick, but it had been wrapped around the post of their headrest. It killed him to wonder how long her slender arms had been hanging from the post. How long she had been in pain. How long she had been afraid. Whoever did this to his wife would pay.

And that's when he saw it…the note that would forever stab him, hidden underneath the blindfold:

"**You know what they say Cohen…if you want to get to the man, go after his wife…"**

He reached for the cell phone she always slept near when she was alone. Realization hitting him dead on. The screen read "9-1"

As he felt her lay still in his arms, he cursed himself for not making her number one tonight. He knew this was solely his fault.


	2. A Hard Dose of Reality

Same disclaimer as before….I don't own the OC…I would like to visit there some day though…

Thank you so much for your reviews thus far! I really appreciate it…I love all of the stories you have penned…I read them over and over again….if anyone has any ideas please share them with meespecially about the eventual capture of the yet to be determined assailant….I don't know who it will be…I'm nervous I will never figure it out…

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

"Mr. Cohen…Mr. Cohen?"

Sandy was shaken from his silent state. He turned from the viewing window of his wife's hospital room, to face a young police officer. The man looked nervous, sympathetic, almost lost. He must have known the Cohen/Nichol name. He must have known the high profile status of the case placed before him.

Sandy didn't care what he had to say. It had only been minutes since the ambulance had arrived at the Newport Hospital. His focus was on _her_.

His wife. The woman he promised over and over again to protect. The woman he had failed.

She lay there. Her eyes open, blurred. He could tell she was trying hard to separate herself from the people around her.

He overheard the doctor, "She's not responsive."

He shined his little light into her eyes.

Dilated.

Sandy wanted to be in the room with her. He wanted to hold her, to whisper confidence into her, but he was afraid he would lose it. That's why he was standing outside of the room looking in. He needed to regain his own composure before he saw her.

"Mr. Cohen, I hate to do this."

The man was getting on his nerves. He wanted to be angry, but he didn't have the strength left in him. Slowly he once again turned toward the window.

Clearing his throat, the officer went on.

"Mr. Cohen, we need to talk about what happened, about what you know."

"I don't know anything other then the fact that my wife is lying there helpless and broken."

"Mr. Cohen, we saw the note. It's a direct threat towards you. Someone did this to her to hurt you."

_No fucking kidding. And the accomplished their goal. In the worst way possible. They knew how to hurt himIt would have been less painful if they had just killed him. _

But they got to Kirsten. His life.

"I understand that officer. And you can only imagine the thoughts in my head at this very moment, but I need to focus my energy on her."

"Mr. Cohen."

"No. If you give me tonight, I will give you tomorrow." And that was it. Final. He would not cooperate tonight. It was not fair to herhe had already spent too much of the day thinking of things other then his wife.

The officer looked at him. He did feel sorry for the man. If it was his own wife, he too would have pushed anyone else away.

"Okay." He said, understanding, he handed Sandy his card. "Give me a ring when you can."

_When he can. Right. And when will that be? He can't do anything without her. He can't move, he can't breathe, he can't exist without her by his side. _

Sandy looked down at the piece of paper he gingerly held between his fingertips.

Detective Michael Steward.

He didn't recognize the name, it wasn't one of the Newpsie legacies. Maybe that's why they sent him. He wasn't close to the family, he could be objective, he could be forceful when he needed to be, because he wasn't attached. Sandy had a feeling he would be getting to know this Michael Steward very well. He wished he wasn't. He wished this whole thing would go away.

But you can't wish away reality.

This was very real. And as much as he tried to control himself, he couldn't. Sandy pressed his hand on the small glass pane. Leaving his prints, he traced the fine lines of the window. He tried so hard to look at her. To examine her, to read her, but each time he saw a single tear fall down her beautiful face, he had to turn away.

* * *

Kirsten was surrounded in the massive room, but she felt alone. She looked over to the door, she saw her husband. He was standing outside, he looked crushed.

Her concern was for him.

"Mrs. Cohen, Kirsten…where does it hurt?"

_Where does it hurt? That is the most understated question she has ever heard. Like the events of the night were so trivial she could answer in a mere few sentences or a pointing gesture. _

Kirsten couldn't get her voice to work for her. Inside of her head she was screaming for help, but all she could get out were silent tears.

Her heart rate was jumping.

"Kirsten, we need you to try and calm down." The doctor spoke smoothly to her.

_You calm down. _

After a few minutes of poking and prodding, she heard the most devastating words of all.

"Do you think we need to perform a rape kit?" the nurse quietly asked. As if trying to hide it from her. The reality of the situation.

The doctor looked down at her. She recognized him from when they brought in her father just weeks before.

Kirsten didn't know how to respond, how to admit the worst. She continued to stare at the taupe ceiling.

Closing her eyes, she nodded. _Yes. _

It was the first response she gave him. And he was relieved.

"Okay. Let's move Mrs. Cohen to a private room. Nancy will you assist me. Clara will you please go speak to her husband." The doctor dismantled the room, sending everyone off to other duties.

"And please do not speak to anyone about her." He said before they left. He knew who this woman was, who her father was. He knew they all knew and he did not want to deal with the rath of the Nichol dynasty.

* * *

Sandy should have called his sons. He should have called his father-in-law, but he did not know how to even approach the situation. It was late, or early depending on how you looked at the situation. The boys should be home, but if they were, surely the crime scene tape would have tipped them off. Sandy would wait till morning. The lawyer instincts in him were gone. His ability to asses any situation with eloquence and grace was gone. He was jelly, he had to sit.

With his head in his hands, Sandy watched the door of her room open. For the first time someone other then law enforcement approached him. Someone who had information.

"Mr. Cohen."

He looked up at the nurse with nervous eyes. This was a hard case. For all involved. She hated this part. At least his wife was alive. Clara could remember countless times when the news was far worse. Or so she thought.

_What could be worse then death? _

But for this husband, she knew any news was painful. The guilt she knew he was feeling would be far worse once she got her words out.

Yes, this was by far the hardest.

_How do you tell a loving husband that his wife has been raped_?

"How is she?" His voice was barely audible. Dry.

"Mr. Cohen. Your wife, physically is fine. She suffered a few minor injuries, mainly bruising to her face and upper torso."

It all sounded so generic, so distant.

As a nurse that's how she wanted it to be. It's how she needed it to be. It was one of the first things she learned.

_Self-preservation is key. Never get too close. Patients are faces and sometimes names, but nothing more. If you get attached, you lose your edge. _

Screw that. There was something about this man that caused her to instantly care. She took a different approach.

"Sandy. Kirsten is in a lot of pain. She's barely responding to the doctors, she's been put on a few sedatives to help her relax. She's trying hard to be stoic, but Sandy, she's quickly breaking down. Like I said, her injuries are small, we bandaged her wrists. She has a bruised rib and the swelling around her eyes should go down within the next hours. As far as we can tell she is in no physical pain."

Sandy was relieved. He let out a deep breath of air. She was going to be okay. But he instantly noticed the change of the nurse's demeanor. There was more. She wasn't finished. Something worse had yet to be said.

_Good news first, bad news second._

She looked at him and he urged her to continue. To give him any sort of comfort concerning his wife. Little did he know the biggest blow would come in the form of three one syllable words. For a moment she looked away. For an escape route, a direction to turn to, a way out.

There was none.

"Mr. Cohen" she distanced herself again.

"She was raped."

* * *

The room she was now in was much smaller then the trauma room. It was pink and there were no windows. It was enclosing her, making her feel nervous, sick.

Too dizzy.

Kirsten could feel the bile rising up her throat. It burned her slowly. She tried to concentrate on the machines surround her. Anything to soothe her upset body.

_I don't want to get sick. I don't want to get sick/…Please don't get sick. _

Too bad you can't control everything.

The nurse heard her gags and rushed over to the bed with a waste bin. Helping Kirsten to her side, the nurse gently ran her hand through the woman's blond hair. Holding it away from her face, she rubbed her back, whispering to her.

"_It'll be okay, darling, let it come out." _

Kirsten sobbed as she laid back down on the bed.

"I'm sorry." She chocked out.

The nurse rinsed out a warm wash cloth and held it to her forehead.

This poor woman. Trying so hard to be in control.

She wiped Kirsten's mouth, trying to be gentle around her raw lips. She got her a new gown and helped her change out of the old, soiled one. Kirsten's body had begun the healing process. Bruises were forming around her chest. Directly underneath her collarbone was what looked to be teeth marks. Fingerprints lined her shoulders. Scratches ran up and down her stomach.

The nurse was disgusted. She wondered who in their right mind would make any woman go through what this one had. She feared her own safety and the safety of her young daughters.

_If this could happen to a Newpsie, then it most definitely could happen to anyone else. _

* * *

Sandy fell to his knees.

_She had been raped. _

His wife, his beautiful, perfect, gentle wife had been violated in the worst way possible.

Because of him.

_She had been forced to open herself up, forced to perform, forced to be torn into by another man. _

_No, no, no. Baby. No. _

Sandy couldn't take it. He tried hard to remove himself. To forget about the visuals running in his mind, to deafen himself from her voice—her pleas.

He couldn't do it. For five minutes he sat there, on the hospital ground. Shaking and crying and grieving.

* * *

The doctor arrived a while after Kirsten resettled herself. She was finishing up a glass of water, when he entered the room.

He noticed her instant change in comfort. She jolted, pulled the sheets up closer. Looked at him with the eyes of a deer in traffic.

At least she was responsive.

"Mrs. Cohen, I'm Dr. Kingman. I hate to have to put you through more tonight, but I just have a few questions and a quick examination."

_Oh good. Just what she needed…another one. _

"Kirsten, when was the last time you ovulated?"

She couldn't think. She didn't know. Her busy life rarely allowed her the luxury of keeping track.

_March, April. What month were they in? The third week. Always the third week. _

"When did you last have intercourse?"

_Horrible questions. Invasive questions, as if she hadn't already been publicly humiliated enough. _

She could feel her skin flush. At this moment she wished she had a window to divert her attention.

"Six days…with Sandy."

_Hour and a half with a stranger. _

With a stranger. She'd only ever slept with two men her entire life. Jimmy and Sandy. And she had loved them both. Kirsten never went through the meaningless sex stage of the 70's. To her, sex was sacred. Only to be shared with he who you love the most. Not with a stranger.

"I want Sandy. Please let me see my husband."

She needed to feel safe, she needed him to hold her and tell her the world is not an evil place. She needed to see him. She needed him to just be there.

* * *

"Mr. Cohen." The same nurse approached him. She had led him to a private waiting room after his near breakdown. She had brought him coffee and a wash rag. She had left him there, hoping he would regain composure by the time she came back. She knew his wife would soon be asking for him and she could not, would not allow him to go to her in such a state of distress.

_Oh god. What else could there be? _

"She's asking for you."

She.

Kirsten.

She needed him.

Now. Then too, but now. She asked for him.

A sigh of relief came. He had been so afraid of her blame, so worried.

"But Mr. Cohen. You have got to hold yourself together. Your wife needs you to be strong right now. She has just gone through an examination for STD's and the doctor is having her take the 72 hour pill. This is all becoming very real to her. You need to be the strong one right now. Not her."

So many husbands came in here thinking they were the stronghold in the family, so many left realizing it was actually their wives.

He shook his head in agreement. Running a hand through his hair, he looked at her.

"Please take me to her."

* * *

Okay….I know its not the best more of a filler or somethingbut chapter three is almost finished…here's what's ahead:

Sandy's First conversation with Kirsten…

The boys find out….

And so does Caleb (hopefully, but that might be pushed back)

Please, please continue reviewing…they make my day!


	3. The Love of Her Boys

Hey everyone! Thank you so much for all of your encouraging reviews! I really, really appreciate themalways love hearing from fellow writers!

Just thought I'd give you a pre-OC fix….well pre for the pacific….

I hope this chapter's up to par…if nottell me how to fix it!

I still don't own them…..

* * *

CHAPTER THREE: The Love of her Sons.

_Tick, tick, tick. _

Damn clock. It echoed in her room, engulfing him in the silence.

It was getting to him. The silence was literally going to drive him mad.

She hadn't woken up yet. The doctors had guaranteed him, she was in the most comfortable state possible.

He looked down at her. Peaceful. Angelic. Changed.

Even in sleep, he could sense her distress. Tear marks still lined her face. Ever so often, she would cry out.

_No, please, Sandy, help. _

Each time it tore through him more and more.

Even in her dreams, he wasn't there for her.

And although it had been a few hours since the attack, the bruises had yet to fully form. With each new hour, a darker purplish hue arrived.

He held her hand, he caressed her hair. He tried so hard to be strong. He lost the battle and had to leave her for a moment. He remembered what she said. He thought of her words.

"_Sandy I'm sorry." _

_It was the first thing she said. As soon as he had entered the room, she began to cry. It was the first time he saw the results of her attack. The implications of what had been done to her. _

_The consequences of his actions. _

"_Baby…no…this is not your fault. This was forced on you by someone evil. You have nothing to be sorry about." He tried to assure her. _

"_No, if only I had…"_

"_Kirsten. Listen to me." He looked at her with all the love and devotion he could muster up. " I love you so much. You are the reason I breathe every morning. _

_What he meant was 'this is all my fault. You are the victim here, not me.' _

"_I tried Sandy. I begged them." Her blue eyes closed. _

_Them. More then one person invaded his home that night. _

_He glazed over her last comment. Trying hard not to let his anger overtake him. Giving her his whole attention. Letting her talk. He would deal with them later. _

"_Kirsten."_

"_Sandy, please forgive me. I didn't want to be with another man. I swear to you."_

_Oh god. _

_It was so like her to feel guilty. To put him first. _

_Sandy felt like he was going to be sick. _

_In front of his very eyes, his wife had changed. She had lost her confidence in herself, in his love for her. _

_She was afraid of losing him, just as he was afraid of losing her. _

_What had she done to deserve this? And he knew instantly, she hadn't done anything._

_He had. _

Sandy was brought back into reality by one of the hourly nurse checkups. She smiled at him. This girl was new.

There must have been a shift change.

"You should get some rest too, Mr. Cohen." She advised looking over Kirsten's stats.

And he tried, but failed miserably.

That night, she had asked him not to call her father till morning, she had asked him to not upset the boys. They had been staying the night over at Zach's house. Some sort of comic night.

"_Just leave them Sandy. I'm going to be fine. Let them have fun." _

Fine.

It was now morning and he knew the phone calls would have to begin.

He'd start with his sons. He was less afraid of them.

* * *

"Dad," he heard Seth groggily answer the phone. "Dad, its barely morning. It's like six am."

Sandy rolled his eyes. Not even a hello. He should have called sooner. This was their mother. He should have been more worried, he should have checked up on them. Just in case.

More guilt.

Failure as a husband, now failure as a father. What a night.

"Seth."

That tone. His father's voice was filled with anguish.

One word and Seth knew something was wrong.

There was only one person in the world who could cause his father to sound so devastated.

_Mom. _

"Dad, is mom awake?" He asked urgently.

Sandy knew Seth was on to him. He knew instantly something had happened to his mother. They sure had a smart son.

"Seth is Ryan with you?"

"Yeah, he's asleep, but where's mom? She isn't downstairs cooking is she?" Seth prayed she was.

"Can I talk to her? See she told us we could stay out tonight. Something about a special evening. And of course I was mortified, but…"

"Seth," Sandy interrupted with a little more force. He knew rambling was his son's sole defense mechanism. He couldn't deal with it right now.

"I need you both to meet me at the hospital. Your mom's been…your mom's been hurt."

* * *

It had been five hours since Kirsten first entered the hospital. Four and a half since he had been told everything. Three since he heard her speak for the first time and only twenty minutes since he called their sons. They should be there soon. Sandy had no idea how to explain it to them.

Should he tell them everything? Did she want them to know everything?

_He didn't even know the details. _

He should really talk to her first. But he didn't want to wake her. She hadn't stirred in over an hour. She needed her sleep and Sandy alone would figure out what would be said.

He had to call Caleb. He couldn't, he would eventually, but not now. Sandy knew his father in law would be out for blood. Hopefully it wasn't his own.

Seth and Ryan ran into the hospital. They were both nervous. Neither of them had said anything the whole drive. It was tense.

His father's words echoed in his mind.

_Your mother has been hurt._

What did that mean? Hurt. What like a paper cut? Hurt. It had so many implications. It could be anything. Seth counted on his paper cut theory.

Ryan on the other hand knew to expect the worst. He was convinced when Sandy said Kirsten was hurt, he meant she was dead. Always the pessimist. Seth used words to defend himself, Ryan used the worst thoughts possible.

_Then you can always be prepared. It can only be better then that. _

Unless the worst was actually the truth.

They saw the front desk and immediately asked for Kirsten Cohen's room number.

"Are you family?" the receptionist asked.

"Yeah" why would this woman not hurry up. This was his mother. The woman who gave him life. He swore to God he would have her fired if she did not answer him right NOW.

"We're her sons," Ryan explained, noticing Seth's panic.

"I'm going to call the room, just to verify."

"Are you kidding me?" Seth raised his voice.

"Mom." He yelled. "Mommy!" His voice screamed through the quiet corridors. He needed to see her now. To know she was okay. To hug her. To have her tell him to settle down.

Ryan looked at Seth with pure disbelief. He tried to make him stop. To calm him down, but Seth was not having it. And although Ryan tried, he too expected Kirsten to walk out from one of the rooms to hush her son down.

But Kirsten never came out.

The other families looked at them. Stared at them.

"Okay, okay. You guys can go right up. Room 204."

* * *

The squeak of Seth's converse shoes announced the boys arrival. Sandy had finally dozed off, even if it was only for a few minutes. He met them outside of the room.

"Dad, oh thank God. You know, they weren't even letting us up here! What is with that? And who is he?"

In the past half hour, the police chief had sent over an officer in civilian clothes. He said it was for their protection. He was to stand outside of her room, not say anything. Just observe.

_Watch for anyone suspicious._

Ryan grabbed Seth's armed.

"Hey."

Seth followed Ryan's gaze. To that of his mother.

From a distance, he could see her bruises. Seth slowly walked to her side, not taking his eyes off of her sleeping form.

"Mom." He whispered. Seth sat on the chair his father had occupied. Right next to her bedside, he took it all in.

Ryan kept his distance.

"Dad, how did this happen?"

Ryan was afraid of the answer. He had seen his own mother in this state countless times before. Every time it had been done to her by someone claiming undying love.

_But Sandy wasn't like that…was he? _

Ryan's initial fears were put to rest.

"I don't know."

Seth looked at his father, with tears in his eyes. "Mom" he cried again.

He was like a lost child. He felt like a lost child.

Kirsten moaned in her sleep.

_No. _

_Please. _

The pain was evident in her voice. Seth and Ryan both cringed.

He stroked her hair, hoping to give her a sense of peace.

_Her_. His mother.

Seth remembered the countless times he ran to her with a cut or scrape. How many times she held him and calmed his tears. How many times she played Nurse Cohen.

"_Mommy, it hurts! Please make it go away." _

"_It's okay Seth, Mommy's going to kiss it all better." _

He wished he could do that for her. But this was bigger then any bandage could cover.

"Lets go talk outside." Sandy spoke, hoping not to disturb his wife.

Sandy did the best he could to explain the situation, trying to leave out the gruesome details. He told the boys that someone had gotten in, that he'd found her in their bedroom, and that he didn't know very much himself. Kirsten had yet to confide in him.

He left out the rape. He left out the gags and tape and wire. He left out the note.

* * *

They had lived in a gated community. They were supposed to be protected.

_But they weren't. _

And for the first time in his life, Seth realized his family was not above any other. There were no special gods or superheroes protecting them from the evils of the world. They were vulnerable and Seth didn't like it.

"I have to get out of here."

"Seth."

They were still in the hall. Sandy was letting the news sink in. Each boy reacted the same. Shocked. Worried. Scared. Angry.

Neither wanted to say anything.

"No, I just…I just need some air. Call me if she wakes up." He turned and quickly walked around the corner.

He didn't make it far.

Seth felt his whole body convulse. He felt the anger rise within him. He felt his emotion take over.

He couldn't break down in front of his father.

They were men. They didn't cry together.

Seth leaned up against the hospital wall. He slowly slid towards the floor. It was only 7 am and his world felt like it had just ended.

_Someone had hurt his mother. _

And even though his father did not share all the details. He knew.

She had been hurt far worse then Sandy had let on.

Far worse.

Seth let out a sob. He choked on his tears, on his thoughts. He grabbed a handful of his curly black locks. Trying to make his pain physical.

"Mommy…"

* * *

He didn't mean to wake her up. He wanted her to sleep through this whole episode. To wake up to a world that was past this.

She stirred. Her eyes slowly opened. She tried to focus on anything but them.

It was the first thing he noticed. Her normally blue eyes were grey. Sad, tired, different.

"Hey honey." She softly spoke. Her mouth was dry. She needed water.

"Hi Kirsten. Can I get you anything? Do you need more pain medication? Do you want Sandy? Seth's around here too."

Kirsten smiled at his gestures.

"You're making me think you want to be anywhere but in this hospital room."

Ryan looked down at her. His eyes proclaiming "I'm sorry"

"I feel the same way Kid." She said. "I could use a glass of water."

Ryan quickly obliged. He grabbed a plastic class from her bedside and poured the substance into it.

"It's kind of warm. Do you want me to get you fresh water? Or bottled?" He knew she liked her Evian.

"No, it's okay really."

Ryan took the glass over to her. He carefully helped her sit up and held the glass for her to take sips from. She was still too weak to do it on her own.

Ryan noticed the bandages wrapped around her wrists. Sandy hadn't told them much. Just that she would be fine, make a full recovery.

She caught him looking at her arms. She swallowed. Kirsten didn't know what to say. She didn't know how much he knew already.

She hoped it wasn't much.

"Ryan I…"

"Uh Kirsten, I'm going to, I'm going to, uh, Seth. I'm going to call Seth. He'll make hell if he knew you were awake without him."

_I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable Ryan. I would end this if I could. _

"Okay." She said quietly. He noticed her change. He hoped he hadn't cause her to feel bad.

Damn him if he did, but Ryan knew he had to get out of that room.

He couldn't let her see him get upset.

* * *

Seth peeked in on his mother. He hadn't spoken to her yet. He was afraid.

_Afraid of his mother? It sounded so wrong. So cruel._

He wasn't afraid of her, he was afraid of what had been done to her. He was afraid she wouldn't be Kirsten Cohen. He was afraid they had taken away the mother he had always known.

The strong, always in control, overprotective, yet understanding Kirsten Cohen.

Ryan had called his cell phone numerous times. Seth couldn't answer it. He just wanted to be alone.

But he needed to be there for his mother. For once in his life, he was thinking of someone other then himself.

_Mark this one in the books, Mom._

"Knock, knock." Seth whispered into the room. She had her eyes closed.

Was she asleep? Maybe he should come back. Not disturb her.

"Hey Sweetie." She smiled up at him.

Kirsten was so glad to see her son. She had wondered where he had been.

How was he talking the news?

She was worried about him.

Kirsten knew that behind his strong exterior, her son was terrified. She could read him like an open book.

The way his eyes diverted. The way his hands nervously twisted. The way he shuffled his feet.

Their relationship may not have been completely deep on the surface, but she understood him better then anyone else.

"Seth, honey."

"Mom, I'm sorry. I can't…" he turned to walk out. He didn't have the strength.

"Seth, talk to me. It's all I want."

"Well, you ruined the comic convention."

She smiled at him.

"Mom, I didn't mean it like that. I…"

"No. I'm sorry about that."

_Please be yourself, Seth. I don't want this to change you._

Kirsten felt a wave of pain rush through her. She had spent most of the morning cringing and holding it in. Not letting anyone know.

This time she couldn't hide it.

She closed her eyes. And beckoned it to go away.

_Not in front of my son._

"Mom, are you okay?"

"Yeah. It just hurts to breathe sometimes."

Seth walked back over to his mother. He held her hand, stroking her fingers. Silently praying for her pain to go away.

_Please God, make it stop._ _Make her be okay._

Seth didn't like to see his mother cry. He hated to see her weak. He once again felt the emotion rise in him.

_Seth Cohen: Tough Man._

_Seth Cohen: Mamma's Boyand Proud of it._

Kirsten felt his tears landing on her hand. It had been so long since she had last seen Seth cry. Like herself, he wasn't into public displays. But today was different.

She too felt herself begin to let out silent tears.

_Mother and Son. _

It wasn't her physical pain. She could handle that. It was _his_ pain. Her family's pain. The pain she knew they too were feeling.

_Because of me._

Kirsten felt a wave of guilt rush through her. She let it linger for a few moments.

_This was not her fault._

Hopefully after telling herself a few hundred times, she might actually believe it.

* * *

That's it for nowI wrote more then I thought I would, that's why Caleb isn't in this one. Ryan will have a bigger response too….I'm working on four now….I have chapters ready for after four thoughhaving a tough time with that chapter for some reason…hope to post either on Sunday or Monday….but I have a Law examso we will see! Thanks again! Keep your reviews coming!

Up Next: Caleb really does find out...Ryan responds in his own way...Kirsten gets to go home...


	4. Daddy Dearest

Ok, I have no idea what happened with the whole third chapter becoming the first chapter, (yeah….I'm new) but it's fixed now….I think….if not, let me know and I will once again challenge the technology gods….

Disclaimer: still, in no way, my creation…although, I at times, tend to pretend they are…

I hope you enjoy this one….thanks so much for all the tips and kind wordsjust to let you all know, I too am excited to figure out the reason behind the attack….it's still a mystery on my side….

Let it all begin….drum roll?

* * *

CHAPTER FOUR: Daddy Dearest 

"Sanford Cohen. I swear to god if you hurt one hair on my daughter's head, I will kill you."

He heard the booming voice from down the hall. Sandy had stepped out of her room to grab a cup of the lukewarm coffee.

Caleb.

He never called Caleb.

Caleb had found out on his own. That man never missed a beat in this town.

"Sandy I mean it," The old man approached him with the force of a prowling lion.

"Where is Kirsten? I want to know why I was woken up by the Newport Daily asking for information about my family's welfare."

Caleb was standing directly across from him. He was looking at the man with pure vengeance.

"Sandy I called and no one answered. I stopped by the house. I saw the yellow tape. I was turned away by one of the officers. They told me you were here."

"Yeah."

"Yeah? That's all you have to say? Where's Kirsten?"

"Caleb, before you go and see her, you need to calm down."

_Calm down? What had happened to his daughter? _

Caleb stared directly at his son-in-law. The man looked 20 years older then he had two days ago. He was not smiling. He was not being the smooth Sandy Cohen, Caleb had quickly learned to loathe.

Caleb knew something was very wrong. He once again looked at Sandy.

His voice quieter, more patient, but still filled with urgency, "Where is my daughter?"

"Some people." Sandy's voice cracked.

"Some people broke into the house last night. Kirsten was home alone."

_Home alone. Caleb thought. Alone. _

"They were there for her."

_What?_ _For her?_

"Excuse me?" Caleb did not understand what Sandy was implying.

Sandy had a hard time continuing. He'd never actually been physically afraid of Caleb. But Sandy knew, when it came to his daughter, Caleb's gloves were off.

"They attacked her. Tied her up."

Caleb could feel an immense amount of anger rising within him. He tried to take a breath. He bit his lip. He looked at Sandy with contempt.

"Caleb, they raped her."

_Raped her._

His daughter.

He didn't know how to respond. He felt dizzy. He felt a pang in his heart that he hadn't felt in years.

Was he having another heart attack?

No. This was different.

Caleb recognized it.

_It_ was pure, raw pain.

_It _wasn't sugar coated and rational.

_It _was a feeling he had only gotten once before.

The day his wife died.

* * *

Seth had cried with his mother for over an hour. 

Neither saying anything. Neither moving.

Just crying.

His eyes were sore, puffy and red. There was no way he could cover it up, but Seth didn't care. From this moment on he would gladly shout to the world his love for his mother and that yes, he did cry with her.

He would do it all over again.

His father had walked in on them. He looked at his son, he looked at his wife and he walked out.

Seth had wished he would have stayed.

He couldn't imagine what his father was thinking, feeling.

Seth knew his father's world revolved around his mother.

He knew his father was boiling with rage.

He felt it too.

They kept it in. For her sake.

But Seth wondered.

_Was she angry too? _

"Mom, I'm going to go kick some ass." He tried to bring some humor in the emotionally dripped room. She smiled at him, whipping away the last of her tears.

"Seth, don't say ass and no you are not." Even in her moment of weakness, raising her son right was the utmost importance.

He cuddled up against her, doing his best to not hurt her in anyway. He held her like she used to do with him.

"Mom, I love you."

* * *

He had all the money in the world and yet no amount would make this disappear from her life. 

"They did it to hurt me." Sandy spoke quietly. His head bowed to the ground. Playing with the paper cup in his hands, he looked to his father in law.

"What do you mean to hurt you? They should have just shot you. _She did nothing_."

Caleb was right. He wished they had just shot him.

"They left a note." Sandy told him the whole story…at least the parts that he knew.

Caleb sat in silence the entire time.

"Sandy, so help me God. If my daughter did not love you so much…"

Caleb stood up and began to pace around the already small waiting room.

The sharpness of his words caught Sandy off guard. He could tell Caleb was in an extreme mode of destruction.

"What are they doing for her?"

"Caleb, she hasn't slept much. She's exhausted, physically and mentally. The doctors are giving her as much medicine as they can. Seth's in with her now."

Caleb kicked the metal garbage can, trying to gear his anger towards anything other then Sandy's head.

He was trying so hard to process all of the information. There was so much that had been done to her, to the family. His breathing was inflamed, rushed.

_One, two, three, four…calm down…one…two…_

"What are you saying Sanford?"

"You need to hold it in…She's a mess."

_We're all a mess. _

* * *

Ryan had heard the words Sandy spoke to Caleb. He knew from Kirsten's injuries, there was more to the story. He hadn't realized it would be so brutal. 

_Raped. Tied Up. _

These things happen in Chino, not Newport Beach.

Ryan was at a loss. Ever since he had become a part of the Cohen family, Kirsten did everything she could to accept him as her own.

She was more of a mother to him then Dawn had ever been.

Ryan thought of the time Kirsten had come to the jail. How she jumped when one of the inmates approached her, how easily scared she had become.

_Someone worse then that had invaded her home and she was by herself. _

He immediately cursed himself for not coming home. For staying out late and for having fun.

_He should have known. _

Ryan reacted in the only way he knew how to.

Violently.

He punched the wall in the bathroom, he kicked the stall door. He lashed out, yelling random words.

"Why did this have to happen to her?" he shouted to no one.

* * *

Caleb walked into Kirsten's room with a bouquet of flowers and a few gifts. After his discussion with Sandy, he walked down the halls of the hospital, quietly calming himself down. 

Making himself presentable for her.

He found the gift shop two floors down from her room. It was filled with baby gifts, flowers, care cards. Caleb looked up and down the rows of cards.

Get well soon? No.

Sorry for your loss? No.

Congratulations on your new baby daughter? Definitely not.

There was no 'I will do anything to kill the bastards that hurt you' card.

He settled for one that simply said, "Little girl, I love you."

He was pulling out his wallet to pay when he first saw it.

A small, velveteen rabbit. Just like the one he bought Kirsten the day she was born.

He had gotten her the book one year and would read it to her over and over again. She was convinced it was written for her, and her alone.

She had loved the stuffed animal. For years, she couldn't sleep without it. And one night she even tried to stay awake, in hopes of seeing the toy come alive.

But by the time she left for college, the poor toy was so damaged, her mother insisted on throwing it away. After a bit of convincing, Kirsten finally obliged.

"I'll take that too." He told the clerk. She smiled at him.

"Do you want it wrapped?"

"No, that's okay. I'll just take it."

He signed the slip for his credit card and left the shop.

Before entering her room, Caleb took one last breath. Sandy had warned him about her appearance. He promised she wasn't in too much pain.

_Any pain his daughter felt was too much. _

He could hear his grandson talking, laughing. Should he really interrupt?

"Hey Grandpa." Seth spoke.

_Too late_.

Caleb walked into the room. Immediately there was a tension.

"Kirsten, uh, how are you feeling?" He was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say to his daughter. He had to take in her bruises for a moment.

_Those bruises should not be on his daughter's face._

_The purple marks on her wrists, the raw skin surrounding her lips. _

He had known what to expect, but could never have prepared himself for reality.

"Caleb, you can actually enter the room." Sandy urged him.

His feet felt like they were stuck in concrete.

Distance is good, he thought.

_But this was his daughter. _

"Hey guys, why don't we let Caleb had some time with your mother."

They were going to leave him alone with her? Had they not sensed the extreme anxiety filling the room?

"I don't want to leave her." Seth whined.

"Yeah well, lets go anyways," Ryan pulled his brother from the bed.

They nodded at each other as the three left the room.

Now it was just him and her.

He knew he had to say something.

"Uh, it's raining out."

It just sort of slipped.

_First rule of business, when it doubt talk about the weather. _

That was not what he actually meant to come out of his mouth. She looked at him, amused.

"Is it? Well, that's good to know."

Kirsten didn't know what to say to her father. In a sense, she was just as uncomfortable as he was.

"Are those for me?" she asked pointing to the flowers and bag he was holding.

_She had always loved presents. _

"Uh yeah, it's silly really. I just found it in the gift shop downstairs. It reminded me of you."

He handed her the gift bag, and placed the flowers on the table next to her window.

"Those are beautiful." Kirsten acknowledged motioning toward the vase. The flowers he had gotten her were a mixture of Kirsten's favorite and of her mother's.

Orange lilies, purple irises and white daisies. An odd combination, but the splash of color easily brightened up the pale room.

Kirsten dumped the contents of the bag onto her lap. She first noticed the rabbit that lay on top of her.

_He remembered. _

She instantly began to drop tears into her lap.

"Kirsten, I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

She picked it up and felt the soft fur. She looked at her father with pain filled eyes.

"Daddy, I was so scared."

* * *

Caleb sat alone in the private waiting room. He could feel himself coming undone. The stone cold business man inside of him no longer existed. 

He felt lost.

Caleb Nichol never felt lost. He was always in control.

Always.

Today he wasn't. Caleb didn't know if he would ever be in control again.

She was the one thing that kept him going after his wife had died. She had held him up, she allowed him to be cruel, she sacrificed herself for him.

Because that is who she was.

_Is. _

Her smile, her laugh. The way she always had a solution to every problem.

She was her mother's daughter.

And every moment of every day, he saw the love of his life in her.

While he was alone in the room with her, he held her as she cried. Kirsten had tried to tell him what had happened. She got upset and began to hyperventilate.

Right there in his arms.

"_Dad, it hurts, please."  
_

He called the nurse to give her some more medication. Thankfully Kirsten instantly began to feel the effects. She began to fall asleep in his arms. And he watched her for a few moments. Studying her. Until it became too much and he had to leave.

The pictures in his head haunted him. The images of her.

He could see his daughter struggling for her life. He could see her crying out in pain.

_He wanted to know who did this. _

Sandy walked into the small room. He took a seat next to Caleb, offering him a cup of coffee.

Caleb sharply refused. Instead he motioned for Sandy to come sit by him.

"You know Sandy, when Kirsten was four, I left for my first prolonged business trip. I hated to be away from her, but for her future, for the business's future, I knew I had to go."

"_Daddy." The young girl looked up at him with eyes that pleaded: Stay. _

_Her blonde hair, tied up in her signature pigtails framed her small face. Concealing the tears she didn't want to fall. _

_But she said nothing, even at four, his daughter knew her place. _

_As the silent sufferer. _

"_Kiki, we talked about this last night. You know I have to go to New York for a few days."_

_She nodded her head. She knew. _

_But she wished he would pick her. _

_Caleb walked over to his daughter and patted her on the head. _

"_You be good for mommy and the nanny okay?" _

_Once again she nodded, silent._

"_I'm going to miss you, Sweetie." _

_He left that morning with her watching him from the window. _

Caleb wished he could say he noticed her. He'd always took advantage of her love. He wished he could take back the years of neglect geared toward his family. But he'd done what he thought was right.

"_She's been crying since you left." His wife told him two days into the trip. "She won't eat anything. Cal, I'm worried about her." _

"_Put her on the phone Katherine." He could hear his wife calling the young girl from across the house. He immediately put on his stiff upper lip. _

"_Kirsten Nichol. Young lady, we need to have a talk." _

_He could hear her sniffles in the background. She hadn't said anything. _

"_I miss you, Daddy." _

_Caleb felt a pang in his heart, and although he wanted to comfort her, he knew he had to get a message across. This was only the first of many business trips. _

"_You need to stop your crying, listen to your mother and grow up. You are not a helpless baby anymore. If you were, we'd still have you in diapers. Are you listening Kirsten?" _

_She hiccupped, "Yes." _

"_Now, I want you to go into that kitchen and eat your dinner. What you don't eat tonight, I will tell your mother to give you again tomorrow morning. Do you understand?" _

"_Okay." Kirsten handed the phone back to her mother. _

_He could hear her sobbing in the background. _

"_Cal, what did you say to her?" _

"_I set the standard Katherine. She has to learn not everything in this world is going to go her way. She needs to toughen up." _

"_She's stubborn just like you." _

That was the last time his daughter shed a tear in his presence.

Caleb didn't know how to comfort her. He only knew how to rule her. It's how their relationship ran. He would tell her what to do, and she would obediently do it.

"I don't want it to be like that anymore." Caleb spoke defeated.

For the first time since he and Kirsten had gotten married, Sandy realized his father in law was human. For the first time, Caleb didn't come across as the asshole he seemed determined to be.

For the first time, he let down his walls and became a loving father, dedicated to his child.

"I should have been there for her more."

"Caleb, listen. You can not even imagine how bad I feel about this. She's my wife."

"Oh, you feel bad, so that makes everything okay? Sandy, she's my daughter. They weren't kidding when they said a daughter is yours for life. Think about your love for Seth and multiply it by a thousand. That doesn't even equal the love a father feels for his daughter."

Caleb chocked back a sob. He turned away from Sandy, taking a breath of air, he continued.

"A father is supposed to watch over his daughter. He is supposed to protect from anything that can harm her. He is supposed to be there for her when the world shows its ugly head."

Caleb looked at Sandy in a way that gave him chills. Caleb wanted to be comforted.

He could only think of one response.

"So is her husband Caleb."

The two men sat staring at each other. Both realizing they were the only two men Kirsten wholeheartedly trusted and that night, neither of them had been there for her.

* * *

Okay, that is Four….it took a lot more thought then the other ones. I hoped I captured the families responses well….if not tell me and I'll work on it…..as always, your reviews bring a smile onto my faceespecially in this time of darkness and despair otherwise known as MIDTERMS…… 

Next up: Kirsten actually gets to go home...for real this time...and she gets a visit from the police...I haven't written it all yet, but let me tell you...the one after five (aka six) is good...at least i think so...


	5. The Long Road Home

Okay, guys, I have to admit this is one of those chapters that has gotten in the way of future chapters and is therefore more of a filler then anything else….sorry bout that, but have no fear, the drama is far from over…

I still own nothing OCish…

Please, please review!

* * *

CHAPTER FIVE: The Long Road Home

Kirsten had been in the hospital for 12 hours and 31 minutes. Ryan had counted while he was alone in the waiting room. Each minute felt longer then the one before, each excruciating, each unbearable.

He couldn't sit still. He tried to talk to Seth, but for once, Seth didn't want to talk back. He and Sandy had gone for a walk just moments before. They had asked Ryan if he wanted to come along, but he thought they should have some time alone.

He tried to call Marissa, but she wasn't answering. He even tried Summer.

God knows Caleb wouldn't want to have a conversation.

_She_ was the only one left.

Ryan slowly walked to her room. It felt like déjà vu. He once again took a breath before entering, he once again knocked and she once again said,

"Ryan."

Ryan looked at her from the door frame. She had begun to get color back in her cheeks. Her hair had been pulled back into a ponytail. Strips of fallen strands were slipped behind her ear. She looked so young. Not like the professional woman he always pictured her as.

She didn't look as weak as she had just a few hours before.

"Hey Kirsten, I'm, uh, I'm sorry about before. You know, when…"

She could instantly tell his inverted self was taking over. Kirsten was determined to make this as painless as possible.

"Ryan. It's okay. I really don't want you to feel uncomfortable. And if that means you need time, I'll understand."

Time? He didn't want time, he wanted to be there for her.

His surrogate mother.

Even in her time of need, she was trying to comfort him.

"No, it's okay. I mean I've seen it before."

Kirsten realized the boy was far beyond his years. She felt an intense emotion inside of her. She wished she could erase his own past. Make him feel safe and not a bear witness to such violence.

"Tell me about it." Kirsten inquired. She hoped she wasn't being to forward. Ryan had never been a man of many words.

"It's nothing really, I mean just stuff with my mom."

Ryan looked at her with eyes of sadness, not only because of the pain he felt for her, but the pain he felt for his mother. She had been to the hospital countless times. Kirsten didn't need to hear the memories. His memories.

But still, he felt compelled to humor her. She had always been a convincing woman. Ryan was glad to see that hadn't changed.

Ryan thought back to the first time his mother had been hurt by one of her boyfriends.

_A six year old blonde tuft boy bounded through the small house door. He had just been given an award at school for winning the class spelling bee. He couldn't wait to tell his mother. _

_Ryan could sense a difference in the house. The tv was not on, it was for once quiet._

_He didn't like the silence. _

_He looked for his brother, his mother. Neither seemed to be there. _

_He called out, "Mom, are you home?" _

_It wasn't his mother who answered, it was her newest boyfriend, Mike. _

_Ryan was used to having various men around. He never really noticed them until then. Neither he or Trey particularly liked the man, but both knew they had no say in the matter. _

"_Ryan, why don't you go out and play or something. Your mom and I are busy." _

"_But I have to show her something," Ryan declared as he walked to the back room. _

_Mike tried to make it to the door before the young boy entered, but was too slow. The alcohol draining him of his energy and coordination. _

"_I said go out." _

_Ryan looked to the floor, where he saw his mother laying. _

_She had blood coming out of her nose. She refused to look at him. _

"_Just go out Ryan," she whispered. _

"_But I have…" Ryan was scared. He had never seen his mother bleed before. _

_He had had a bloody nose once, from when Trey punched him, and he knew that hurt a lot. He wanted to make sure she was okay. _

"_Ryan you heard her, she doesn't want to see what you have right now."_

_Ryan never said anything about the spelling bee, he never told her he had won. He hid the certificate underneath his bedaway from the world to see. _

"Ryan, I am so sorry."

"I didn't really understand what had happened."

He wished he could go back to being innocent, but no matter where he went, the Atwood luck seemed to follow him. The kind of luck that ended up hurting people.

The room once again became silent, awkward.

"Kirsten, I know what happened."

_All of it. _

The comment slipped out, but he was glad it had. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

_At her expense. _

He instantly regretted it.

She licked her lips and looked away from him. He'd made it worse. He'd only wanted her to know.

_That he knew. _

Her response, or lack there of, made him tense. Should he say anything else? Should he just go?

"Did Sandy tell you?" she asked quietly. She stared down at her hands, rubbing the bandage around her wrist.

"No, I heard him talking to Caleb. I shouldn't have kept listening, but I just, I guess I just wanted to know."

She nodded her head in confirmation.

He could tell there was a range of emotions going on in her head. In an instant he saw her face go from surprise, to shock, to pain.

"_Honesty is the best policy, my ass," he thought. "Say something Kirsten, please say something." _

"I'm glad you know."

Ryan was now the speechless one.

"I don't want this family to be harboring big secrets from each other. And as much as I wish I could hide this from you and from Seth, I think you need to know."

Ryan stood next to her bed. He grabbed her hand. A gesture that surprised Kirsten.

"I just want you to know that, I'm sorry about what happened. And that I, that I love you."

And at that moment, those three words made her world just that much better.

* * *

Seth and his father were walking around the hospital parameters. The rain had finally stopped, but they could still feel the residue in the air.

It smelled like spring.

But today the thought of spring or sun or anything other then his mother made him sick.

_Life is no longer normal. Trivial topics were a thing of the past. _

"Dad, what happened?"

Seth prayed his father wouldn't lie to him. He prayed it wouldn't be a sugarcoated response. For once he wanted his father to be serious.

Sandy looked at his son, not only through the eyes of a father, but the eyes of a husband.

His first instinct was to protect his wife, but Sandy knew Kirsten wasn't just his wife. She was Seth's mother.

And at this moment, he had to switch gears and focus on his son.

"I came home late from work. She was in the bedroom."

Sandy didn't want to continue, he wanted to go back to her, to ignore his son's inquiring mind. To make it disappear. He didn't want to subject his son to the images that were constantly replaying in his own mind.

"Dad, I know all of this, I want to know why her wrists are bandaged up, I want to know why she has marks all over her body."

Seth was more nervous then he had ever been before. Inside he knew what had been done to his mother, he knew, but he needed to hear it from someone else.

"Seth when I found her on the side of the bed. She was tied up to the post. They had used wire."

Wire.

Seth's breathing became labored, almost to a complete stop. Sandy had second thoughts about continuing. His son shouldn't have to hear the rest.

_Ignorance is bliss, Seth. _

But Sandy knew Seth would not let it rest, he knew he wanted the full story.

"She was blindfolded, I think for a moment unconscious, and there was duct tape on her mouth."

"Seth, she was raped."

Seth felt like he was going to throw up. This happened in his house. It was far worse then anything he could possibly imagine.

Rape. Rape. Rape.

The very word sounded sick, violent.

Seth could feel vengeance rising in him. He wanted to hurt someone. To make them feel the pain he was feeling, the pain she was feeling.

But all he could do was fall back onto the wood bench.

The weakness in his knees, the tears begging to fall, the strong arms of his father holding him up.

After his conversation with Seth, Sandy felt at a complete loss. His wife was broken, his son was broken. Sandy worried about keeping the family together. The responsibility lying solely on him. He was determined to protect them.

Sandy would not let them be hurt anymore. His own guilt had to be pushed aside. Guilt could not lead to healing. Guilt could eat you alive.

He rushed back to be with his wife. He felt like he had been away from her for too long. Seth had gone to spend more time alone. Sandy didn't want to leave him alone for one second. He wanted to bring the boy back into the hospital with him, for his own state of mind, but Sandy knew each person had to deal in their own way. And if that meant giving Seth some time alone…so be it.

* * *

The doctor was in with Kirsten. Sandy listened in for a few moments before entering.

"Kirsten, I just want to make sure you know your options. There is help for you out there."

Help. His wife wouldn't accept it.

"Thank you Dr. Kingman. I'll think about it."

Sandy believed there was nothing to think about it. There was in no way they would survive this without outside help.

He held his tongue and entered the room…putting on the biggest fake smile he could muster up.

"Hello Gorgeous," he spoke to her.

"And hello you to handsome." Dr. Kingman joked. He knew in situations such as this, bringing a little lightness into the room always helped.

"Kirsten and I were just talking about her jumping the joint and getting out of here." The doctor looked down at her paperwork. There was nothing left they could do for her. He could prescribe as much pain medication as legally possible, but the rest of her healing came through time.

"Are you sure about that Doctor? She hasn't been here that long." Sandy's voice filled with worry. He was afraid something would again happen to her, he wanted to be in the company of professionals.

"She's doing well. Really there is no need for worry. I think she can go leave." The doctor hesitated using the word 'home' He was sure Kirsten was healthy enough to leave the hospital, he wasn't sure she would be emotionally stable enough to make it home.

"Kirsten, if you want to stay here longer you can."

Kirsten had been quiet since her husband had entered the room. She had laughed at the Doctor's joke, she listened as he explained her options.

She wanted to leave, she wanted to forget about this whole situation. But she didn't necessarily want to go home. And as much as her mind screamed at her to just stay put, Kirsten knew, for her own sanity, she needed to find familiarity. If that meant home, then so be it.

"No. I think getting out of here would be just fine."

Sandy's eyes looked at her with skepticism. He didn't say anything though. But she recognized the look. She chose to ignore it.

"Great." The doctor said. "I'll just send in the nurse to do one more examination and we'll work on the paperwork." He touched her hand as he rose to leave the room.

"Kirsten are you sure?"

She nodded her head. "Could you run over there and get me some clothes. I can't leave this place looking worse then I did when I arrived."

* * *

His father had called him to ask him to go home and pick up some clothes for his mother.

She was getting released in a little while.

_Thank God._

Seth knew his father didn't want to leave the hospital without her. That's why he sent Seth. Seth didn't necessarily want to drive home. He didn't want to enter her room, but he would do it for her. Because she was his mother.

The massive house came into view. It looked as if nothing had happened. The investigators have long since gone. So stoic and exclusive, his house almost seemed to reign in the neighborhood. And yet, it seemed so small. To Seth the house would no longer be the same place he had grown up in. No matter how much time passed, he knew it he would always look at it in a different light.

_The home in which his mother was attacked in. _

Pushing the thoughts aside, Seth entered the front door. The light coming in from the windows gave an eerie glow to the rooms. He could see the dust through the rays.

His father had told him that he had made sure the maid came in that day to straighten things up. After the police left, she had worked her best to remove any mark of the night's attack. Seth took notice of the extra clean kitchen and the new stash of groceries.

_So she wouldn't have to do it. _

He slowly walked to his parent's room. It felt as if he was going to hell. His feet dragged along the carpet.

_He did not want to do this. _

His hesitation caught him and Seth had to stop for a few moments.

"This is ridiculous."

Seth made a bolt for the door, but his hand refused to turn the handle. He was shaking.

He closed his eyes and shoved the door open.

Now all he had to do was grab her clothes, but first he had to get the courage to open his eyes.

_One, two, three…nope…try again. _

Seth's brown eyes finally opened slowly. He took the environment in.

Just like the exterior of the house, the room looked the same.

Seth had almost expected a drastic change of décor. Not necessarily in the literal sense. He almost wished there was some indication of last night. He couldn't get mad at something that seemed so familiar. He wanted the room to stick out.

So he could focus his anger on something.

Still, Seth did not like the vibe of the room. He quickly rushed to his mother's dresser. She had more clothes then Marissa and Summer combined. He could have swore he hadn't seen her in half of the outfits.

_So like Mom. _

Normally the thought of going through his mother's private items would have made his skin crawl, but not today.

Today, he realized how small his mother was.

He grabbed some of his undergarments. The doctor had suggested loose fitting clothes. Her ribs were tender, she needed to be comfortable.

Seth opened another drawer. It was filled with workout clothes, t-shirts and lounge pants.

He rarely saw his mother in the state of relaxation required to wear these clothes.

This was the right drawer.

He picked out a pair of grey cotton drawstring pants and a black Berkley long-sleeve tee.

It was her "I'm too tired to get anything done, lets watch a movie" outfit.

_Perfect. _

Seth took one last look around the room. Their bed had a new duvet, pillows and spread. A lamp had been replaced and there were fresh flowers on all of the table surfaces.

It looked like a goddamn page out of Martha Stewart Living.

* * *

Kirsten changed into the clothes her son had brought her. She studied him after his return. Seth was uncharacteristically quiet. As she was awaiting her release, Kirsten flipped on the television. She really hoped a mindless sitcom was on.

Instead she saw her house.

The headline proclaimed, "The Attack on Newport Royalty: Next at Five."

Dear God. Kirsten felt like she was going to be sick.

Newport knew.

Sandy had entered his wife's room to pick her up. He saw her still body, a television remote shaking in her hand.

"Baby, what's wrong."

"It's on every channel."

"What's on every channel?" he asked her.

"It is." Kirsten couldn't be more specific. She was at a loss for words.

Sandy looked up at the television, it was a set of commercials, nothing more.

"Sweetie, maybe we should stay here a little longer."

"Every channel has their own name for it. No one mentions the details specifically, but everyone will know." Kirsten could feel her heart racing. She had hoped she could easily slip back to the world in an almost invisible sense.

Not anymore.

The news had not mentioned the rape, just that the Cohen household had been broken into and there was a pending police investigation. One person was taken to the hospital, but her condition was not known.

_More details at eleven. _

Sandy finally saw the broadcast. He didn't know how to respond.

He knew he was furious, he knew he wanted to wring out the media for disregarding his family's privacy. He also knew they had a right to do so.

"Kirsten, we can go somewhere else. To a hotel or your Dad's house. We don't have to go back there tonight."

"No. Let's just do it." She was trying to be brave. Kirsten was putting all of her energy in her strong exterior.

She wanted things to be normal again.

Sandy just nodded his head. He helped her rise from the bed and into the required wheelchair exit.

The nurse entered the room with all of the paperwork. Numbers for councilors and her pain prescriptions. The doctor had also given her a sleep aid, and a sedative, for what he called 'the bad nights.'

Sandy didn't want to think about the bad nights, but he gladly accepted the medications.

She helped gather the rest of Kirsten's belongings and led him out to the exit. Seth and Ryan were waiting in the drive with the Range Rover. Ryan quickly jumped out of the driver's seat to open the back door for them. They helped get Kirsten settled and Ryan was about to climb in the back.

"Why don't you go ahead and drive." Sandy spoke to him.

Ryan was caught off guard. Sandy always drove, no questions asked.

_Things change. _

He nodded the okay and Sandy sat next to his wife. She gingerly placed her head on his shoulders and he lightly kissed her on the cheek. She closed her eyes, not looking back at the hospital.

It felt as if they were bringing the tragedy home…but Kirsten knew it had never left. The drive home was thankfully long.

Other then a few offhand Seth comments, it was also silent.

The first flash jolted her back to reality. Sandy felt her tense up. He put his arm around her.

"Be careful, Ryan. Don't hit any of them."

_On purpose._

The media was waiting. With their cameras, their suits. Their questions.

She could hear them through the closed windows.

"Mrs. Cohen, how are you doing?"

"Mrs. Cohen, what happened last night?"

Mrs. Cohen, Mr. Cohen, Mrs. Cohen….

Sandy kissed her forehead.

"You okay?" He rubbed her back, hoping to ease her.

She nodded her head yes.

But she meant no.

The media couldn't get into the gated community. They had to stay behind the lines of private property.

Sandy made sure to call security and threaten their lives if anyone got through.

They awkwardly entered the home. Only Seth knew the state of it, and he had assured his father it was acceptable.

Her injuries made the process slow, but they were by her side every moment. She would smile up at them and apologize for her keeping them.

It wasn't until she was in the hallway leading to her room that she fully realized her surroundings.

Kirsten couldn't move.

If felt as if all the air in the room had been sucked out and she was left there alone, defenseless.

Gasping.

_It's my home. This has been my bedroom for years. _

_I can't sleep in there. _

_Sandy, I can't sleep in there. _

She didn't have to say anything.

He knew.

And he immediately tried to divert her attention.

"Honey, why don't we spend a few days in one of the guest rooms."

_On the other side of the house._

* * *

Okay, that's it….hope it is all that you expected, and if not, tell me!

Next up:

The police actually show up, Kirsten begins to deal and heal….and soon enough… Kirsten tells her story. After that, we'll see if we can figure out who did this…


	6. A Visit From the Police

So here it is…hope its good….I would have written/posted sooner, but college keeps getting in the way----only three weeks though---wahooo!

I don't own the OC…never will

Just a little side note…as a student of media law, I'm hoping to get most of the info correct, let me tell you, there is not a lot of room for personal privacy out there….but if its wrong, blame it on my creative license….

Have a good one---and please, please review!

* * *

CHAPTER SIX:

The past few days had been rough for the foursome. What privacy they could get, between the media's watchful eye and the city's gossiping women was anxious and filled with edgy glares.

No one really knew how to respond to another. Each felt as it they were walking on glass. Afraid to somehow step on the other, smashing them into pieces.

Hurting them even more.

Everyone was glad Kirsten was home. Everyone except for herself.

Home.

What a useless, unmeaning concept.

This building no longer felt that way. The warm glow she used to get when she entered the door after a long day at work was gone. In an instant.

Vanished.

Home was now a prison.

She inhaled a deep breath, hoping to calm her aching chest.

And then she felt it. His reassuring hand on her back. At first, his very touch cause her to flinch, it cause him to flinch too. Not out of fear, but pure unending guilt. He knew she wasn't afraid of him specifically. He hadn't actually physically hurt her, but he also hadn't been there to stop someone else from doing so. He'd broken more then one promise that night. And he was sure; her mother would be turning in her grave.

"_Sandy, it's all up to you now." _

_He was in her master room, sitting next to the bed. Kirsten had just left the room to go check on Seth. He quickly noticed how weak his mother in law had gotten just in a few hours. The doctors had told the family there was nothing left for them to do. All of their options had run out. _

_She wanted to be at home. _

"_Don't say that Katherine, you got a lot of time left." Sandy held her limp hand. It was familiar. Kirsten had her mother's hands. The golden skin with round tipped nails. A ring on the left finger, a callous on the right from where they wrote to hard. _

_She was her mother's daughter. _

"_Sandy, just let me say my peace. I tried to raise my daughters to become independent, proud young women…maybe too much so in Hailey's case. Kirsten has always been the pleaser, the child we could count on. The one who always, always comes through. Even at the sacrifice of herself. _

"_You're telling me. That's why we're here." Sandy laughed inside, but he knew how much this meant to his wife and her family. _

"_She'll do anything Sandy. That girl of mine trusts like no other. She has the fire of her father, but her heart. That's all mine. And it's a dangerous thing."_

"_It's a beautiful thing."_

"_Ah, that is where you are wrong Sandy. It can be, but it can also be a burden. You know how she is with Caleb. I love him more then anything, but the man will run her ragged and she'll willingly let him. You are the only one who can read her Sandy, in a way that I never could. You understand her and see her emotion. Even when she tries so hard to hide it."_

_Katherine took a few moments to catch herself. The pain within her body was beginning to overtake her. She reached over to the nightstand where her medication lay. _

_Sandy quickly noticed and helped her swallow the water and pills. _

"_Maybe you should rest, Katherine. We can talk later." _

"_Every day I worry for her Sandy, even though I know she is strong and capable. There are so many people in this world who want to take advantage of her. Her father especially. You can't let that happen. For years I have made sure Caleb treats his daughter right, for years I've won." _

"_You raised an amazing woman." _

"_I know, and that's why you need to protect her Sandy. From this world, from all the people who look at her with greed filled eyes. There are people in this town who hate this family, who hate her for simply being a Nichol. She grew up around it, the jealously, but she never noticed. She's always been the innocent. Promise me you will not let her get hurt." _

Katherine had died later that evening, but her words never left Sandy's mind. She had given him all of her trust, to protect that which was hers. Sandy had promised to always be there for her beautiful daughter. He hadn't come through. He had failed his wife and the mother she worshiped.

* * *

Kirsten had spent a good two days in bed. Almost afraid to venture out into the rest of the house. She and Sandy were staying in one of the guestrooms down the hall. Sandy had entered into the master room only to gather belongings, clothes and other needed items. Kirsten never stepped foot down the hall. She would glance in its direction ever so often. Seth had caught her looking at the door from a distance, but nothing more.

Sandy or one of the boys would check on her ever so often. They would bring her meals and anything else she may have requested.

At times they would all eat in there with her.

Seth even brought little distractions for her. His comic books, magazines she liked, but not the newspaper.

She was the cover. Always. Every morning since the attack, there was some blurb about his mother.

"Tragedy in the House of Cohen."

"Reports yet to be filed in Cohen attack,"

"Tycoon's Daughter Victim of House Robbery."

Newport Princess, Newport Royalty, Newport…Newport…Newport…

_Speculation. She hadn't even talked to the Police yet. _

No one really knew anything. Just some copy editing off of police reports. Apparently all legal. Seth had asked.

"_Seth, I wish there was something we could do about it."_

"_Dad, this is her private life, our private life." _

"_They got their informational legally, son. And as much as I want to kill the bastards who are writing the trash, I can't. You can blame that on the First amendment." _

Kirsten began to retract. She was letting her guard down, and by doing so, her exterior was wearing away. It was as if the openness she first had, her ability to deal with everything and everyone, was gone. The shock of the whole situation was becoming more and more real. She was quickly building walls around her, loosing contact with not only herself, but her family as well.

She never cried in front of them anymore, especially Sandy. And she would curse herself for doing so. If she ever felt a twinge of emotion rise in her, Kirsten would politely excuse herself from the room.

It had started the moment she had gotten home. Kirsten had hopped into the shower, hoping for a sense of relaxation to her tense body.

_She slowly twisted the knob, letting the hot water pour through the nozzle. As she undressed herself, she first noticed the bruises. _

_It was funny to her that she hadn't seen them before. _

_The ones surrounding her wrists were like rope burns, only worse. In areas, there were little cuts, a bit swollen, pink. _

_They were ugly. _

_She saw herself for the first time in the mirror. _

_The bruise around her eyes wasn't as bad as it felt. She was glad for that. The red tape marks around her mouth almost blended in with her skin, but the pain she felt brought her back to the veracity of it all. _

_They were ugly too._

_Climbing into the shower, Kirsten looked down at her body. Her normal tan skin was uncharacteristically white, making the large boot-tipped bruise above her ribs, the nail and teeth marks protrude. _

_Each mark made her remember. _

_They had made her ugly. _

_And Kirsten felt sick. She grabbed onto the shower door railing, hoping for an ounce of support, to hold up her body. _

_Sandy had found her that way. Covered in cold water, shaking. She had been in there for a long time and Sandy instinctively gone in to check on her. She felt like ice and he worried. _

_Could she have frozen to death? _

_He helped her into a nightgown, keeping his arms around her as he lightly rubbed warmth back into her body. _

_She sat there, unaware. Misplaced. Silent. _

_He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. Still no response. _

_Sandy tried his best to dry her hair with the soggy towel. He tenderly ran his fingers through it, trying his best not to get caught in tangles, slightly squeezing the excess water out. _

_He watched her grey eyes look around the room, filled with shame. _

_He knew she wanted to take care of herself. He knew her pride lit fire was slowly dwindling, and it was killing her. _

_He knew he had to help bring her back, but Sandy didn't know how._

_And it was killing him too._

Kirsten spent more and more time alone. In the garden, in the guestroom, in the bathroom. Anywhere, but around the people who loved her most.

They would walk into a room, she would walk out.

She couldn't accept their arms, their words, and their comfort. It felt better to turn away then it did to accept their help.

Because by doing so, she would actually have to deal with the attack.

* * *

"Dad, is Mom okay?" Seth asked his father. He began to pour a cup of coffee for himself and Ryan.

They quieter of the two, Ryan observed the conversation. He was more worried about Kirsten then he had let on. He too wanted to know the answer.

But he already knew it.

She was far from fine.

In the few moments he ever caught glimpse of her, she would turn away. The blueness of her eyes was gone, they were constantly gray.

_In defeat. _

Ryan wished he could help her, his surrogate mother. He felt so much anger and sadness, all at the same time.

"I mean, she's different. I know she would be, but I just thought, she'd…I don't, I mean, she seemed better when she was in the hospital." Seth rambled on, trying to make himself understood. Not really knowing what to say.

Sandy sighed. "Guys, we have to give her time and space. Let her test the waters. And then we'll figure it out from there. If that means moving, we move. If that means staying here, then, well you know."

"Dad, I just hate seeing her like she is. That's not mom. It's like a bad clone of her."

"Seth…"

"I know its hard dad, I just am afraid we aren't going to get the impressive Kirsten Cohen back. I'm afraid they took her away. Forever." Seth whispered.

"Is she going to get help?" Ryan spoke for the first time.

Seth looked over to his father, silently asking the same question.

"I hope so, but that's your mother's call. I will not force her to do anything."

* * *

Kirsten had overheard her family's conversation. She felt so responsible for her family being upset. She ran her hands through her tangled blonde hair.

"I want to be that Kirsten again, Seth. I really do." She thought to herself.

She let a fear tears escape before turning to go back to her room. She would no let her sons see her fall apart anymore.

She would hold it all together for their sake.

She would make this disappear. Even if that meant once again forfeiting her own welfare.

After his conversation with his sons, Sandy had taken some soup to his wife. She had barely eaten anything and he was sure she had lost a good five pounds. At least. She was too skinny already. He didn't want her any weaker then she already was. As he entered the room, he noticed the bed was empty.

Sandy became worried. His wife had gone missing. She wasn't in the guestroom, the kitchen, the bathroom, or the pool house.

He looked in the direction of the master room.

The door was open.

The door was never left open.

She was in the room.

He could see her shadow on the wall. The way her body arched over. The way her head fell in her hands.

She was crying.

He wanted so much to run in there and comfort her. To tell her everything would soon be better. To become her protector again.

But for a few moments, he left her there. Watching from a distance.

Allowing her to grieve.

Sandy couldn't listen to his wife's sobs for a second longer.

They were getting more violent. Each time she gasped for air, he too had to hold himself back. The pain in her voice was so evident, so full of hurt and fear.

These are the sounds of nightmares.

She began to cough and choke. Sandy knew it was time to intervene.

He could no longer physically be away from her.

She tried to hide it. Kirsten quickly wiped the tears from her face.

"I thought if I came in here, it would fix all this. I would see there is nothing to be afraid of."

Sandy pulled her close. He used his own hand to gingerly sweep away her tears.

He kissed her nose, her forehead. He looked at her with love.

He said nothing.

Kirsten found her spot on his shoulder. She rested her head underneath his chin.

"I heard you talking with the boys. I don't want them to worry anymore."

"Honey, they love you so much." Sandy rubbed her arm. It was covered in goose bumps. He instinctively rose to grab her a sweater.

"It's my fault this family is falling apart."

Sandy thought he had understood his wife, but he never in a million years believed she would blame herself.

He cursed himself for not reassuring her more. For not checking in on her more and assuming he knew.

"Kirsten, it's not. Baby, this is so far from your fault." She blew her nose in a tissue he had given her. Taking the used rag, he handed her another.

"I hate them Sandy. I hate them. I hate them." She clung to him. He could feel her grip digging into the small of his back.

This was the first time she had mentioned them.

His eyes began to water. Sandy could feel her body heat radiating into him.

Kirsten.

Sandy held his wife. He pulled her as close to him as he could.

_I hate them too, baby. There isn't a word in the English language that describes my sentiment towards them. _

He couldn't say it to her though. He held it in. He would not be angry in front of his already jumpy wife.

The two of them sat on the bed for moments, although it felt like hours. Sandy holding Kirsten. Kirsten allowing herself to grieve.

In a room that was supposed to be sacred, it had become a room filled with trial.

There was a slow knock on the wooden frame. Kirsten jumped from her husband's lap. Her breathing quickened. He massaged the back of her neck, hoping to calm her.

"Come in," Sandy motioned. A sheepish Ryan looked around the door, Kirsten hid her face from him.

"Uh, Kirsten, the police are here. They want to talk to you."

* * *

"I think you should just leave her alone for now…Did I tell you my Grandfather owns most of Newport."

"Yes you did, but we're trying to do our jobs." One of the men stated, annoyed.

_Who is this kid?_

"Officer, I'm sorry. My sons are a little overprotective." Kirsten came to the foyer. She had thrown a robe over her lounge wear. Sandy by her side.

"Mom, I tried to get them to go away. You should be in a state of Zen. And let me tell you, they are not here to contribute to that."

"Seth, it's okay."

"I know this is hard, Mrs. Cohen, but we have to ask you a few questions."

Kirsten looked to her husband, who in return gave her the "it's okay" nod.

"Okay."

"Do you want me to be with you Honey?" Sandy asked her. Before Kirsten could respond, a female officer interrupted.

"We were hoping to speak to her alone."

Sandy gave the woman a look of death. No one was going to separate him from he who he loves.

Kirsten instantly notices his demeanor. She places her hand in his.

"That will be fine."

Sandy whips his head toward her.

"It'll be fine."

* * *

"Mrs. Cohen, Kirsten, can I call you that?"

_That._

"Yes," she replied, "you can call me that." After finally separating herself from her husband, Kirsten led two officers into the pool house.

The female officer, much taller then herself, reminded Kirsten of a friend she had in college. She had a soft face; she wasn't dressed in a uniform, but jeans. To a degree, that helped Kirsten relax. Her partner however was a large man. Short, but large with a balding dark hair and dark, flashy eyes. He was sweaty and ever so often wiped the top of his head with a handkerchief.

The woman introduced herself as Detective Erika Edwards. Her partner was Detective Omarosa.

"Kirsten, I'm not going to ask you for all the details. From the evidence collected, we have a fairly good idea. However, we do need you to give me any information about your attacker. I've brought a sketch artist to help us figure out a face."

_Attackers._

"There were two of them."

The woman took notes. Kirsten noticed the other officer looking around his surroundings.

Taking in the view.

"Did it happen in here?" The man asked.

Detective Omarosa sure was bold.

"No, this is my son's room."

"Pretty nice room." The man said back. Kirsten began to feel uneasy. She wasn't afraid of the detective, his forward nature made her nervous.

"Mrs. Cohen, do you have any idea who would have done this? Any enemies?"

_Enemies?_ Kirsten thought. Through all her life she had tried so hard to get along with those around her. She prided herself on being the approachable executive at the Newport Group. When people couldn't go to Julie or Caleb, they always, always came to her.

_Because they liked her. _

She couldn't think of anyone as cruel as her attackers were.

"I don't know."

"Have you had any controversial business deals lately?"

"Did you upset someone recently, in your private life?"

The questions were coming so fast. She didn't have time to think or react.

He was making her feel like she had done something to deserve this.

_Had she? Kirsten quickly pushed away the thought._

_No. _

"_Be strong Kirsten." She heard Sandy's voice inside of her head. _

"Mrs. Cohen. We are just trying to create a motive. Someone did this to you for a reason."

_No shit Sherlock. _

"Kirsten, what he is trying to say is this crime goes beyond the actual attack. Mentally, this person wanted to toy with your family." Detective Edwards' calm voice brought Kirsten back to reality.

"Maybe we should be asking her husband these questions." The man was not sensitive at all. Kirsten could tell Erika Edwards was getting annoyed at his tactics.

"Sandy? Why? My husband had nothing to do with this."

"Mrs. Cohen, this was not random."

"Kirsten what Detective Omarosa is getting at is that..."

Should she tell her?

"What Detective?"

Kirsten's nerves were cold, she was afraid of the answer. What more could the police possibly know?

"Please tell me." The Detective's hesitation made her even more afraid.

"Kirsten, did Sandy tell you about the note?"

Kirsten shook her head. This was the first time she had ever heard about any form of communication.

Detective Edwards wasn't sure if she should go on, but the scared woman in front of her deserved to know.

She turned to her partner.

"Drew will you please go get the copy for me." The older man looked at his superior. Almost as if to say, "You go."

But Detective Edwards knew better then to leave the cold man alone with the witness.

She had been through enough already.

"Today Drew."

Kirsten smiled at this. Her glare was that of a mother. She used the same tone that Kirsten had so often used on Seth.

After a few seconds, the Detective, in defeat left the pool house.

"Do you have any children Detective?" Kirsten asked.

"Yeah, three girls. Triplets actually."

"Oh, I always wanted a daughter."

"Their thirteen. Trust me, you don't."

Kirsten laughed. What had she been like at thirteen? Probably the family terror.

"It's stressful at times. Makeup, dolls, boys. There's too much in this world to protect them from."

"I'm sure your position doesn't make it any easier."

The detective nodded her head.

Kirsten closed her eyes, thinking about how her own view of the world had changed the past few days. She'd never thought of it as dangerous. She wasn't stupid, it was why she was so protective of Seth, but she hadn't known anything else. Her life had always been guarded. First by her father, then by Sandy and now Seth and Ryan. They'd kept her enclosed, safe. They'd been her walls.

It wasn't until now, where she first glimpsed the real world, outside of the Newport gates. Thirty some years on this years on this earth and only now did she see the big picture.

She wanted to go back.

Kirsten's thoughts were interrupted by the slamming of the pool house door. The winded Detective was back. He held a manila envelope, passing it to Kirsten.

"This is a copy of the note we found in your room."

Kirsten's shaky hands pulled out the copy from envelope. Her eyes quickly scanned it.

Once, twice and a third time before she let it drop to the table.

She could feel tears rise up in her. She didn't know what emotion she should be feeling.

Confusion. Hate. Fear.

"I know it isn't much."

Not much, it was a direct target to get at her husband. She had been a pawn.

"But Kirsten, anything at all will help us figure out who did this to you." The detective's voice was firm, but soft, dripping with any hope.

"I don't know, Detective, I really don't know."

* * *

Sandy had watched their conversation from the living room. He couldn't hear anything, but he knew when his wife was uncomfortable. She would either stand up and turn away or close her eyes.

He had been so upset when they told him to stay out, even worse when she said it was okay.

Sandy wanted to be with her, to protect her from them.

Even if they were officers of the law.

He could hear the boys playing video games…anything to help divert their attention. He wished he too could be so persuaded.

But she was his constant thought. Sandy wanted to know what they were saying to her, if they were they making her cry.

So help them if they were hurting her in anyway.

He watched the clock, they had been in there for at least an hour.

Just as soon as his restless body was beginning to relax, the three officers walked through the house door.

They thanked him for his time and quickly explained Kirsten was still in the pool house. She had given them descriptions of her attackers although it wasn't enough to go on.

She hadn't really seen them, Detective Edwards explained.

"We'll show ourselves out Mr. Cohen. Why don't you go talk to your wife?" The man spoke. It was the first somewhat decent thing he had said that afternoon.

Sandy nodded as he bolted for the pool house. He'd given up trying to spy on them. He had no idea what state she would be in.

He knocked first, but got no answer. He tried again and let himself in.

She had just come from the bathroom. Slowly grasping the edge of the wall as she walked towards him.

No words were said, he knew she had just been sick though.

He knew the only way to get past this was if they were together. Unified, living off of each others strength.

_United they stand, divided they fall…_

"Talk to me baby, please. Let me in."

* * *

Okay, folks…that's all for now---but part seven is already written, needing a few minor changes, but done nonetheless….Kirsten actually tells Sandy her story----that's about it….i think, for now at least….Please keep those reviews coming!

Thanks a million!


	7. Kirsten's Story

So finally Kirsten opens up to Sandy….and her story is known….how is Sandy going to react? How does Kirsten get through it?

This is going to be a short one…only centered around one particular scene. And a word of warning---it's a bit violent, not too crazy, but there is mention/a small description of the rape…so read at your own will, but realize that I warned you---sorry it is offends anyone---so not my intention.

I don't own the OC, I'd like a house there someday though….then that would be mine…

Reviews are always, always appreciated….tell me if this is a good one…

Thanks so much for sharing your encouraging thoughts thus far…I sincerely appreciate them!

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN: Kirsten's Story

"Talk to me baby, please. Let me in."

Sandy's words echoed through the room. His wife stared at the wall, at her hands, her feet. Anywhere but directly at him.

_Please Kirsten, I only want to help you through this. I love you so much_.

He didn't want to upset her anymore, but he knew she needed to talk to someone. She was heading down a dark path. He couldn't let her push everything away.

Sandy knew she had to open up eventually or she would soon be on the road to self-destruction.

He would not let that happen.

_God forbid he let anything bad happen to her ever again._

Kirsten felt like the pool house walls were closing in on her. She wanted so badly to confide in her husband. She wanted him to wrap his arms around her and whisper countless promises in her ears. She wanted to feel his lips grace her forehead. She wanted him to tell her that he loved her and no matter what he would always, always be there for her.

She wanted to feel safe again.

But she was afraid.

Afraid that wouldn't be the case.

Afraid he would blame her for what she had done.

Inside Kirsten knew Sandy would never be so cold to reject her like that.

She knew he would love her unconditionally, even if she thought the worst of herself.

But her mind enjoyed toying with her.

It mocked her.

It told her over and over again,

_He can't love you after this, He's so much better then you. This is all your fault._

It made her feel like poison.

She finally turned to face her husband. The look in his eyes told her otherwise. He was the only man in the world who ever looked at her with such devotion.

He was the only man who could reassure her, who could bring her back.

"I remember it. I remember it like it happened five minutes ago. It happened so fast."

Instantly Kirsten realized she didn't want to talk about it.

She wanted to forget it all. Every feeling, every word.

The only problem was instead of forgetting, the images were becoming more and more haunting.

She couldn't sleep, she barely ate.

She was getting worse, not better.

He could help her heal. She knew that.

She just had to convince herself.

After her talk with the police, Kirsten felt more scared then she had before. It chilled her to think someone had broken into her home, raped her, beat her to get at her husband.

"_If you want to get to the man, go after his wife." _

His wife.

Her.

Who would be so sick?

Who thinks of things like this?

As she read the note, Kirsten felt like a thousand knives were slowly making their way through her veins. It felt like a second attack. Not only where they playing with her family physically, but now mind games were involved.

Time heals all wounds, but thoughts may never go away. Fear had the ability to last a lifetime.

She needed to feel secure again.

Kirsten looked into his dark eyes. The same eyes she always looked to when something was wrong. Just staring into them made her feel safe. He was her haven.

_She had just gotten off of the phone with Seth. He said they would be out later then usual and had promised her he wouldn't drink. _

_She told him to just stay over. Have a good night._

_She trusted him. All three of her boys, she trusted. _

_She wished Sandy was home. She hated being in the mansion alone. Like a child, she jumped at the slightest noises. Laughing to herself, she made her way up the grand staircase. _

"_What a goof you are Kirsten." She thought to herself. It was her home, not some unknown territory lurking around her. _

_But tonight was different. _

_Kirsten's sixth sense screamed in the back of her head. She ignored it. She shouldn't have ignored it. It had never failed her before. _

_Kirsten entered her room, placing her hand on the light switch. It turned on for about a second and then blew. _

_She cursed herself. Stupid Damn fuse. _

_She didn't even know where the fuse box was. Even if she had, she doubted she would have known what to do with it. _

_What a romantic night this would be. No lights, no children, and still no husband. _

_Kirsten made her way to the dark bathroom. She fiddled around for a few minutes trying to find her perfume, her toothbrush, the toilet. It wasn't going so well. She crept around the room to her dresser. Using what light mother nature was giving her, she found the silky blue nightie. Slipping into it, there was nothing left for her to do, except wait for her wonderful husband to return home. _

_Kirsten had dozed off. She looked over at the clock. _

_11:41._

_Where was he? _

_She soon heard footsteps coming down the hallway. _

_He was home. Kirsten immediately flipped her hair, sprayed a flowery scent on the bed. And waited. _

_She heard him open Seth's door. For a brief second, then re-shut it. _

_She heard him open another door. The linen closet. _

_Why would he be looking through there? _

"_God Damnit. Fuck big houses." She heard someone say. _

_Someone…_

_This wasn't Sandy. _

_Kirsten immediately reached for her cell phone. She always slept next to it. She dialed nine, she dialed one. _

_She was so petrified, she didn't even hear her own door open. _

_And then she felt rough hands taking the phone from her grasp. _

He watched his wife. For a few moments, she went silent. He watched her remember. He knew she was replaying the attack.

He saw her face go from calm, to that of pure fear. Her forehead twisted. Her hair fell around her face as she looked down at her hands.

Two tears dropped onto the bed sheets.

He gently pushed the stray locks back behind her ear. Looking deep into her eyes, he said,

"You don't have to."

But she knew she did. For her to fully feel safe again, she needed to confide in the one man she knew would always be there for her.

He had to understand what he was up against. Kirsten continued.

_They grabbed her hands. She watched them put the wire around them. _

_Shock. _

_It didn't instantly hurt. _

_One was on top of her. The other harshly tied the blindfold. _

_She yelped in pain. Her hair was tangled within the knot._

_She was shaking. _

_She tried to yell out. Hoping someone, somewhere would hear her. _

_They hit her. _

_No one had ever laid a hand on her before. _

_She was quiet after then. _

"I should have fought harder."

"No, no you shouldn't have Kirsten. They could have killed you."

As much as he wished she had somehow managed to get away, he knew what these men were capable of.

In a sense, she was lucky.

_They taped her mouth shut. She could taste the bitter glue on her lips. She could feel it rubbing her skin. _

"_He said the woman was hot, but shit, look at her." _

"_She's worth the million."_

_And that's when they pulled up her nightgown._

_She felt an unfamiliar hand reach for her thigh. _

_She felt sick. She couldn't breath. _

_She tried hard to focus her energy on anything else. _

_Seth, Ryan, her father, her husband. The dog she had in the third grade. Her mom. Hailey. Jimmy. The house she was working on. _

_It didn't work._

_Nothing could block this out. _

_He was harsh, she tried not to struggle. _

_She was in pain. The pressure her arms were taking as he pressed them above her head, out of the way, was excruciating. _

_She tried to twist into a different position, only to be unsympathetically pushed back down. _

_Her senses were out of whack. She had no sight, no voice, no control. _

_For the first time in her life, someone else ruled her body. _

_Every moment made Kirsten feel closer to death. _

Kirsten stopped. She took a deep breath. Shifting uncomfortably, she leaned up against her husband.

"I wanted to die. I wanted them to kill me. To make it stop."

She could no longer look at him.

She was ashamed.

"One went looking for Seth."

"_You should be glad your son isn't here. We wanted to bring him in here and see what a pathetic recluse of a mother he has." _

"_We were going to hurt him worse then you." _

_Kirsten's heart beat faster at the mention of her son. Although neither boy was home, the motherly instinct inside of her screamed, "Leave my children alone. Do what you will to me, but not a hand on my sons." _

_She'd die for her child, she'd die for her husband. _

_But so help her God if someone touched those she loved. _

Sandy knew his wife was angry. He could feel her tense up, stiffen. The thought of her fighting to protect Seth and Ryan and himself made him feel an immense amount of love. She, much like himself, protected her own.

"They told me Sandy, over and over again that you would never love me once they were through."

_She could feel his breath in her ear. Slimy, warm. His unshaven face scratched across her cheek. It sent shivers down her back. _

"_Kirsten. Your husband is going to hate you. You are so dirty now." He spit on her face, in her hair. She could feel his saliva running down her cheek. "What kind of whore of a wife would sleep with another man?" _

"_This is all your fault." _

_Whore. Whore. Slut. Whore. _

_That's what she was, it's what she felt like. Used. _

"They told me and I tried so hard not to believe them."

"Kirsten. There is not a bone in your body that would make me think that about you. Not a bone." He tried hard to convince her that she had done nothing wrong. He did his best to make her feel safe.

_Kirsten could feel herself fainting. In and out of consciousness. Her body was in so much pain, but she could no longer beg them to stop. Her words came out as moans, her breathing labored. _

_She began to let go, afraid the night would never end. _

"They'd heard your car. That's why they stopped."

Fuck. They had still been in the house, toying his wife, while he had lingered downstairs.

Why hadn't he noticed sooner? Why hadn't he felt her sooner?

How did they get out?

"I can still hear their voices echoing inside of my head. The sound of his zipper as he pulled his pant ups. The exchange of laughter as their boots hit my stomach."

Kirsten rubbed her already sore rib. Sandy gently massaged the back of her neck, stroking through her hair. Trying to give her any sense of comfort. He could feel his blood turning inside of him, anger rising.

He had never been one for violence, but hearing his wife's sobs, her endless torment, her story gave him a renewed sense of vengeance.

He did his best to not let it overpower him.

"I hate sleeping because they are there. I hate being awake because they are all I can think of. My mind won't leave me alone." Kirsten whispered. She had a hopeless look in her eyes. One that scared Sandy to no end.

She couldn't give up.

He couldn't let her.

"Kirsten, sweetie. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I let you down." He held her close to him, their tears mixing. "I will not let them get away with hurting you."

Kirsten tensed at her husband's tone.

"Sandy," she spoke softly, "Where were you? That night, why did you come home so late? " Her eyes looked at him with a sense of apprehension. They pooled. Kirsten tried hard to keep her emotion in.

She didn't want to hurt him, but she needed to know.

_For some reason she wasn't sure if she wanted to know. _

_Want verses Need._

He knew this question was coming. It was the question he dreaded. The question that haunted him the most.

_Night after night. _

The moment of truth.

_Why wasn't he there?_

Should he tell the truth and risk upsetting her already weak self, or once again lie to _protect_ her?

* * *

That's all for now folks, blame college if I can't get a new chapter up soon…what do you think…should he tell her the truth or censor it for now…focus on her…essentially lie….I don't know….Please review…it brings a smile to this face…chap nine will be a good one...already written...more dramatics...but gotta write 8 first...go figure! 


	8. Sins of a Husband

I still don't own them.

There might be a swear word or two in here…read with caution…

I seriously have a strong distaste for education right now…at least I am only two weeks away from my University gradation…no more school forever! That's why it is taking me a bit of time to write…

Thank you so much for your reviews! I seriously appreciate all of them, and would totally write you each a personal note of thanks, but thought you might be happier with a new chapter…

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE SINS OF THE HUSBAND

"_Where were you that night?"_

Kirsten trembled.

Sandy's hesitation caught her off guard. She had assumed he had been at work late. Researching a case or writing a deposition. She hoped that's where he'd been.

But why was he having such a hard time finding his words?

"I was at the office."

That part was true, but Sandy could feel himself begin to sweat. Lying was so uncharacteristic of himself. He hated feeling like he couldn't tell her the whole truth. His wife had been through so much already.

_Mainly at his expense. _

He couldn't bear to tell her he'd been with Rebecca that night.

As innocent as their meetings had been, Sandy couldn't watch Kirsten's already swollen eyes cry more tears. He couldn't let her know he'd been with another woman as he left the love of his life vulnerable.

She shook her head and continued to stare at his hand as he held hers. He knew she knew something was being hidden.

But she left it alone.

His wife had never backed down before.

His wife had never left things alone. She picked and she prodded until she got the truth.

_Because she knew she deserved to get it. _

This wasn't his wife. It was her body, but not her spirit. They'd taken so much more away from her then Sandy ever realized was possible.

And he'd do his best to pick up the pieces. Even if it meant deceiving her.

* * *

Caleb had given his family a few days of freedom. He'd left them alone, but now he was restless. The last time he had seen his daughter was as they wheeled her out of the hospital, from the back entrance.

Away from any possible glares.

This was the first time in all of her life that he had actually given her space.

This was also the first time in all of her life that he had absolutely no idea of her best interest.

But now he was becoming agitated.

He would call ever so often, to see if there was anything he could do or say.

There was nothing. His words tried to be of comfort, but came out wrong, filled with anger and hostility.

"_Sandy, what are the police doing to catch the guys?_

_Sandy how is my daughter doing, is she eating? Is she drinking?_

_Sandy, let me ask her myself."_

Sandy wouldn't put Kirsten on the line if there was any tone of emotion. Caleb rarely got through.

He pushed his antagonism towards the police.

Caleb talked with the chief, trying to use his power, but the man was at a loss. Whoever broke into the house knew what they were doing. No fingerprints, no DNA. Nothing.

Damn Professionals.

"_Mr. Nichol, we are doing our best. But to be honest, there isn't much to go by. Your daughter hasn't given us very much." _

"_It's not my daughter's fault. It's not up to her. This is your job." _

There were a dozen excuses, nothing to settle his restless mind.

It was up to him. There was no way in hell he would allow the person who had hurt his daughter to breathe another drop of air.

If Caleb hadn't been as old as he was, he would have led the hunt himself. But since he couldn't do it on his own, he knew just the man.

He was old, but influential.

One phone call was all it took.

"_I want them to pay, in the most painful, humiliating way possible." _

"_Did I tell you my daughter was tied up with fucking wire?" _

"_Go after their families, see how they take it." _

"_I don't care if you are searching for the next fifty years. Money is not an issue." _

Revenge was the only way Caleb knew how to deal with attacks against his family. He'd never been one to lawfully respect authority.

Caleb had come from a world where one takes care of their own. Regardless of the consequences.

The attackers who had victimized his child would soon regret the moment they had laid a hand on her.

**Hell hath no fury like a Nichol scorned. **

* * *

Sandy was at a loss.

He had to distance himself from Kirsten, even if only for a few moments. Between her story and his answer, he had a hard time standing, staying together.

He thought back to the words she spoke. The way her lips moved as she whispered to him what had happened.

The way she looked at him for reassurance, the way she silently begged for his forgiveness.

He would give it to her in a second.

He had helped her out of the pool house and back into the guest room. She had stayed silent as he untied her robe and carefully pulled a sweater over her head, carefully avoiding pulling a single hair. He led her to the bed, and pulled down the covers. Like a child, she allowed him to tuck her in.

"I love you."

"You know that don't you?"

"Kirsten?"

He felt like he was talking to air. He needed her to know that their love was unconditional. Nothing she could do would make him stop loving her.

She continued to lay in the bed. Staring at the pale wall. His words sunk into her. Kirsten knew he wasn't lying to her. Their very essence relied on each other.

And yet, each moment she felt distant from him.

_How could he still love her?_

Kirsten refused to let herself believe his words, it was too easy. His love was too accepting. She couldn't let him love her. She herself was sickened by her very existence.

Her conscious fought her heart.

"You can't," she mumbled into the pillow, her hand leaning against the side of the bed, away from him.

The brokenness in her tone caught him off guard. His breath got caught in his throat.

"_You can't" _

But he could. If she'd let him.

"Kirsten, there are not enough words in the world to describe how much I love you. You gave me your hand, you gave me my sons. You are the reason I wake up in the morning and why I come home at night."

Sandy could feel tears pricking at his eyes. He tried hard to suck them in. His feelings for her were genuine, as real as emotion could be. The fact that she even doubted his love broke his heart.

"I can't live in this world without you, Kirsten. When I saw you baby, I…Kirsten, I…."

Sandy couldn't go on.

_He saw her frail body lying against the bed. He could still feel her trembling in his arms as he untied her. _

Kirsten turned towards her husband. For the first time, she thought about what Sandy must be feeling. For the first time she realized he had seen her…like that. For the first time she imagined finding him in the same way.

And for the first time she understood.

She once again, was being selfish.

_Damn her. _

He looked at her directly, praying his eyes proclaimed his love. Praying she would accept.

"Sandy, I'm sorry…I never thought about…"

"Kirsten, you don't have to apologize." He leaned down to scoop her in his arms. He wiped the stray hair from her face, revealing another batch of fresh tears. "I'll love you until the day I die."

* * *

Seth and Ryan were supposed to be going out with Summer and Marissa that evening, but neither felt up to being social. The girls complied, although confused. Seth could tell Summer had been annoyed.

He didn't care.

She didn't know. She'd never understand.

His problems were far worse then she could ever imagine.

Marissa on the other hand knew every detail, she had told Ryan about Caleb's rage. She had told him about his constant connection to the phone.

And even though she wanted to be there for him, for all of the Cohen's, Marissa didn't know how. She was more then willing to give the family some space.

Instead the two boys stayed inside the pool house playing round after round of video games.

Neither saying a word, each dedicated to beating the crap out of the virtual other.

"Want another go?" Seth asked Ryan.

He took a sip of his soda and wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead.

"Seth, that's like the eighth time you've beat me."

Seth through him a 'yeah and?' glare.

"Yeah, well, I'm pretending your guys the ass that hurt mom. It's unsurprisingly easy to do."

Ryan looked at his brother.

_Brother. _

The thought caught Ryan off guard. This really was his family now, it seemed so natural.

Ryan wasn't surprised Seth had used video games to exert anger. Everyone had their niche. He on the other any always resorted to physical fighting.

"They're gonna find them Seth. Sandy won't let them get away." Ryan tried to be reassuring, even though he understood the legal system better then most boys his age.

"It's not enough Ryan. Breaking and entering, rape, battery. There just charges. People get off on stuff like that. It's not even enough for life in jail."

Seth pushed the controller away from him. He got up from the floor and began to pace around the room.

Ryan wasn't sure if Seth was right. As the son of a lawyer, he knew Seth had some knowledge, but even so, Ryan couldn't believe him.

"You don't know that." Ryan paused the game, already knowing Seth was giving him the Cohen stare of death.

All three of them had it down to a tee. Ryan was quickly catching on.

"Ryan, even if they get life in jail, it's not enough. They deserve more. _She_ deserves more."

* * *

Sandy's eyes never left her, even as she pretended to sleep, she could sense him. His glare made her nervous. Kirsten wasn't sure why. Before, she loved to feel his eyes burn into her. She knew he was admiring her. She could feel his love radiating. And even after their conversation the night before, she was afraid. Not of him, but of his thoughts.

Was he really still in love with her. Was she really the same woman he had fallen in love with? She wasn't whole anymore.

The doubts in Kirsten's head played with her, until she could no longer take them. Her eyes quickly opened and she turned to look at her husband. He instantly turned away.

She felt as if her worst fears had been confirmed.

"Sandy," she quietly spoke, her voice dripping with the fear of a lost wife.

He couldn't let her see him cry. He had to strong for her. Sandy had spent almost an hour watching her sleep.

She was so beautiful. Everything about her reminded him of why he fell in love with a California girl.

The way her chest rose each time her body took a breath.

The way her blonde hair waived around her head, like a golden halo.

The way she instinctively cuddled to his side of the bed, even after he left it.

He couldn't help but stare, and feel guilty.

Just a few hours ago, she had shared the most intimate details of that night.

_That night. _

It had no name. It would forever be marked in their brains.

Never forgotten. Always remembered.

Sandy wanted to wrap his hands around the men who had done this to his wife. He wanted to look them in the eye and see their fear.

He wanted to spit on them.

Beat them.

Destroy them like they had done to her.

He wanted the world to know that no one will see the light of day if they mess with his family. He may have converted to a Californian lifestyle, but Sandy Cohen was still a tough kid from the Bronx.

And as much as he wanted to lead the witch hunt, Sandy knew he couldn't leave her side.

Not for a moment.

He couldn't risk meeting her attackers face to face.

He took a few breaths, making sure the tears in his eyes dried. Allowing himself to put on his famous Cohen smile, he turned back towards her.

Her face gave him a look of confusion.

An 'are you okay, cause if you aren't, then neither am I' look.

"Gorgeous, would you like some breakfast?"

She began to shake her head 'no,' but Kirsten knew Sandy would bagger her to eat. She didn't want to be selfish anymore. There were three other people in her family, all somehow affected by her attack.

She would become Kirsten Cohen again. The same one Seth had eagerly begged for.

"That would be great."

He got up to leave, kissing her on the forward, sucking in her scent and allowing it to linger inside of him.

She felt a chill run up her spine. Even after 20 years, he still had the ability to make her insides glow.

Kirsten watched him go. Her doubt still lingered, but she then realized that the simple gestures of her husband would somehow bring her back.

* * *

Caleb rang the doorbell of his daughter's mansion. He waited for the cascading doors to sweep open, half expecting Kirsten's head to peak through.

No one came.

Caleb's initial thought was to panic. Kirsten's attack shocked his fatherly instinct back into him.

He pounded heavily on the door.

Finally, it was the mop of Seth's curly hair that greeted him.

"Hey Grandpa, it's early." Seth cleared his throat, the morning wake-up making his eyes squint.

"Good morning Seth, took you long enough. Where is your mother?"

Seth was caught off guard by his grandfather's question. The look on the man's face was genuine.

His grandfather was never genuine about anything having to do with family. He was genuine about business deals and money and deception.

Not family.

How was this the same man who time after time degraded his mother, drove her to drink and most recently throw things at unsuspecting walls.

"I think she's still sleeping." He finally answered.

"Well, if you'd let me in, I'll wait." Caleb walked past his grandson, squeezing his arm as he went.

Seth face mirrored his confusion.

_A token of affection? Who was this man? _

* * *

Kirsten sat in the kitchen watching her husband make breakfast. She was tired of being in bed. Her body was healing, aching less. She was getting better at pushing thoughts out of her mind. Her robe surrounded her body. She pulled it close to her frame and sat slouched on the stool.

He was going all out, making her favorite dishes.

_All _of her favorite dishes.

Bacon was sizzling, coffee was brewing, eggs frying and pancakes slowly forming in the pan.

None of it burning and as always, Kirsten was amazed.

Her eyes followed him as he bounced around the small space. She smiled as he talked to himself.

He had called it 'mentally thinking out loud.'

"Good morning Mom," Seth spoke out as he kissed her on the head. She welcomed his affection. "Grandpa's here."

Caleb marched into the room, taking over the space as he so easily could.

"Hello sweetheart. How are you feeling?" Caleb too walked to her, adding a kiss on the head, his arms staying around her.

"Hi Dad." Kirsten hugged back. It was the first time she had seen him since her hospital release.

He, like the rest of them, looked tired.

_It was an epidemic. _

"Today I'm doing good so far." Kirsten didn't want to bother her father with the grim details of her seemingly slow recovery. "How are you? Julie?"

"We're fine Kiki. Julie's spending some time with Marissa."

"Want some breakfast Cal?" Sandy piped in, dishing up a plate for Kirsten. Seth snatched a piece of bacon.

"That is for your mother, you thief." Sandy swatted his son.

"Uh, owe. Child abuse. You all saw it." Seth's instinctive comic relief finding its way home.

Each one allowing laughter to fill the house. Ryan entered the house looking somewhat shocked.

Kirsten smiled at him, "Hey Ryan, Seth's just being, well, Seth."

"Do you want some coffee?" Ryan eagerly obliged.

The five of them ate Sandy's feast without a moment of silence. Each telling a story or joke, anything to make another laugh.

Seeing Kirsten smile again was helping them all heal. Ryan couldn't help but suck it all in.

The kitchen felt different.

_Just like it had before…_

Ryan noticed it. They all did.

* * *

Sandy was left in the kitchen as Kirsten and the boys went their separate ways.

"_I'm going to go take a shower." She stated, kissing her boys as she went. "Maybe we can go out or something?" _

_Kirsten looked at her husband for a sign of confirmation. _

_To say he was shocked was an understatement. _

"_Are you sure?" he asked her. Ryan and Seth's eyes watching. _

_It had only been a few days. _

"_Yeah, to the beach or something low key." Kirsten smiled as she turned to leave. _

"_Love you Daddy. Don't be late for work." _

Sandy had felt refreshed.

As he washed the dishes, Caleb silently lingered around.

"Sandy, I had a conversation with some men last night."

Sandy closed his eyes. Whenever Caleb had a conversation, _he_ had always been the one forced to minimize the damage.

"What did you do Cal?"

"Sandy, I just got a hold of some people who have assured me they would take care of things."

_Things, what things?_

"Let me be clear, Sandy, these men are working around the clock to find those bastards. Do you want to be there when they do so?"

Sandy didn't know how to respond. His father-in-law had just proposed they join forces in the assassination of his wife's attackers.

And for a few moments, he was considering it.

"Caleb, you cannot take this into your own hands."

Caleb's words were cold, strong, those of a revenging father. The powerful eyes he saw in Kirsten had been a gift from her father. Caleb's were just as convincing.

"It's up to us Sandy. For Kirsten to have any sense of retribution, we're going to have to handle it ourselves."

* * *

"Your mom's doing good today." Ryan whispered to Seth. The two were watching their parents from a distance. He nodded in agreement.

The four of them had spent the afternoon in a small town outside of Newport. It was an artsy town, one they had taken a young Seth to quite often after moving back home.

Kirsten had loved the small art gallery hidden within the aisle of stores. It had once been her dream to open up a similar place.

Sandy held her hand as they walked down the sidewalk. He played with her ring, as her fingers interlocked with his own. Today, like every day, he noticed her youthful beauty. Her hair was pushed back behind her sunglasses. The slim cropped khakis hung lose at her waist, reveling her recent weight loss. She had worn a long sleeve top, regardless of the heat.

It reminded Sandy that she wasn't fully better…not even by a long shot.

But he was thankful she seemed to be making progress.

Kirsten let the sun soak into her pale skin. She was hoping to ride herself of the dreaded ill look.

It felt good to be outside.

She was glad they had made a family trip. Kirsten had wanted to be out of the house, but not out around Newport.

Not as a spectacle.

She didn't want to deal with possible Newpsie run-ins. Sandy told her there had been calls from various people the past few days.

Calls of concern. Calls of inquiring minds.

She hadn't taken any of them.

She didn't want their words of advice, their acknowledgement, their pity.

"Mom, you have to come look at this store. It has pickles this size of your arm." Seth's voice interrupted her thoughts.

She rolled her eyes at her husband, and they followed Seth into one of the shops.

"You know, we could drop these two and take a walk on the beach." Sandy proposed. She laughed at his antics.

"We could do that. But first I want some ice cream. Chocolate with sprinkles." She gave her husband _the _face.

Sandy was convinced 'the face' was passed on for generations. A gift from mother to daughter. He called it the, "how to rope your husband into doing just about anything" face.

And when she gave it to him, it worked. Without fail, every time.

"Chocolate with sprinkles it is."

* * *

The day had been long. Sandy had just left Kirsten in bed. Seth and Ryan retreated to the pool house.

They had returned from their day trip just a few hours before. By the time they ended up eating dinner, all four of them were exhausted.

_Sandy had brought a picnic meal and they had all dined on sandwiches and salad as they watched the sunset. _

_Kirsten began to get cold, and all three soon offered their jackets. _

_She had automatically taken Sandy's. _

_As it began to get dark, they walked in a line back to the car. Sandy holding one hand, Seth holding her other. Ryan watched the threesome and inwardly smiled. _

"_You coming Sweetie?" Kirsten asked him, pulling away from Sandy. _

"_Hey," Sandy protested as his hand was replaced with Ryan's. _

_She shrugged and continued towards the car, all laughing. _

Sandyhadn't wanted to go to sleep yet, his thoughts were attacking his mind.

He knew he wouldn't be able to lay still for long and Sandy didn't want his restlessness to bother Kirsten.

He walked down to the empty kitchen for some much needed alone time.

Pouring himself a glass of water, Sandy never knew his brain could compute the day's events as fast as it was.

Caleb's proposal, his inkling about taking matters into his own hands. His wife's laugh throughout breakfast. Her willingness to spend the day out of the house.

Sandy prayed she was healing.

Everything began to mesh together. He sat and stared out the window as he let this thoughts fly around. Mentally making notes in his head. He absently took another sip of his water. Sandy could feel himself drifting, eyes droopy. He began to finally relax as he thought about how well the family had done that day.

Sandy almost convinced himself life was beginning to get better, but it was the scream of a petrified woman that brought him back to reality.

* * *

Please review this puppy….voice your praises, concerns, dislikes, recommendations…a simple hello...anything...and if you do, I'll be so happy and work my best to get nine up….ASAP….

To keep you interested: Here's a heads up….Sandy kept quiet this time about his were abouts, but it will come out eventually, Counseling begins, and Kirsten's attackers aren't leaving her alone for long…


	9. Like the Plague

Okay kids, here's the latest. I am SO sorry for the lack of timely updates, but my education got in the way! Let's just say these past few weeks have definitely earned me my diploma! At least I now can say I have a degree under my belt! Wahoo!

Thanks so much for all of your wonderful responses…I so dearly appreciate them!

I hope you like this one! Please Review…they always make my day!

* * *

Like the plague.

It ate away inside of her. No matter how hard Kirsten had tried to push her memories away, they found a way to creep inside of her

Even on her best day.

And it wasn't going away.

She felt foolish. The nightmare had caught up to her.

Sandy could feel the pressure of a headache approaching his temple. He tried to rub it away, but he knew it wouldn't be that easy.

He had just spent the past few hours holding his wife as she sobbed.

Last night had been the worst so far.

It started out okay. Sandy had brought her a glass of wine, against his better judgment.

The day had been perfect, she deserved it.

He never could say no to those eyes.

"_I'm not really tired," was the first thing she spoke to him. He was sitting next to her and she turned to face him. _

_Sandy looked down at his wife with a smirk. For the first time in days, she didn't look completely exhausted. _

"_Well, baby what do you want to do?" _

She hadn't wanted to do anything, just sit and watch a movie.

Or two.

Sandy let her pick them both out. Chick flicks. The two of them stretched out on the couch. Sandy had invited the boys to watch with them.

Both quickly declined.

"_You and mom can do that on your own I think." Seth left, secretly hoping to walk in on his parents as they once were. Insanely and disgustingly close. _

_As the first film started playing, she began to snuggle in his arms. Her head fitting perfectly under his. _

_Sandy loved to see her relax._

_He spent more time watching her then the movies. _

_As the second film one rounded down, Sandy looked to his wife for guidance. _

"_Another one?" He asked her. _

_Kirsten yawned. He took that as a queue. He gently helped her off of the couch, and led her to the guest room._

"_No, lets go to our room." _

_Sandy was surprised by her suggestion. It would be the first night. _

_He stayed with her for awhile, she looked so peaceful, so natural._

_He left her in the room to fall asleep, he himself wasn't tired. Sandy walked to the kitchen to pour a glass of water. The cold liquid felt soothing on his dry throat. _

_Sandy couldn't stop thinking about the previous night. _

_What she had told him. What he had said._

_She had been through so much. Each thought made his heart beat faster, more aggressive. He could feel the anger rising within him. _

_Knuckles turning white, as each moment became more hostile. _

_Sandy tried to calm himself, but he couldn't just let it go. Not when it came to Kirsten. _

_He could see Ryan's lights were on. Sandy guessed Seth was in there as well. The two never left each other's side._

_As Sandy continued to get lost in his thoughts, he noticed the moonlit sky was reflecting into the pool. _

_She loved to just stare out the window on nights like this. _

Sandy walked out of the guest room bathroom just to check on her sleeping form. He had given her a sleeping aid just a few minutes before, hoping to give her some peace, even if only for a moment.

_The scream cut through his thoughts. Shook him back into reality. _

_The glass he was holding slipped through his fingers and smashed into pieces. _

_He didn't hear it crash. _

_Seth and Ryan had been right at his feet, arriving into the room just moments after he scooped her into his arms. _

_Sandy quickly shooed them out of the room._

_He knew she wouldn't want them to witness her tears._

"_Sweetie, wake up. Kirsten. It's okay." _

_She continued to thrash around the sheets. Sandy gently shook her sweaty body. He could feel her clammy skin, her cold as ice fingers. _

_He kissed her on the forehead, "Come on baby." _

_Sandy's voice was patient, but he couldn't have been more afraid. He had tried so hard to protect her in the real world, but there was nothing that could keep her safe in her dreams. _

_She was alone. _

_And just the thought brought tears to his own eyes. _

_Kirsten's blue eyes flashed open. Taking a huge gasp of air she muttered, _

"_Sandy." _

_Her hair clung to her face, Kirsten gingerly pushed it away from her eyes. _

_She threw herself into his arms. _

"_I could…I could…feel their…his..." She stuttered into his chest._

_A sob escaped her throat. _

"_I could…feel him…in me." _

_Sandy tried his best to keep her close, but for once in his life, he had no idea how to help her._

"_It hurt Sandy, it was so real." _

_She trembled. _

_Even in his arms, she no longer felt safe. _

"_It wasn't baby. It was a nightmare. You're safe." He ached to take away her pain, her fear. _

_Kirsten sat up, her head falling to her hands. She shivered under the cotton sheets, they too were soaked in her sweat. _

"_Lets get you out of this nightgown." _

_As he helped her pull the wet silk nightie over her head, he heard her whisper, _

"_I don't want to be in here anymore." _

_Her voice was so lost, quiet. He could feel her internal fight. _

_This was her room, but they had stolen it away from her. _

_Sandy nodded his head, he quickly grabbed her a new outfit and pulled her to her feet. He pulled her close, as she continued to let silent tears fall. _

"_I hate this Sandy. I just want it to go away." _

_But he knew no matter how hard they tried to forget, this would never just disappear. _

* * *

Her face etched her inward emotion. Sandy knew she was stressed. Normally, he would have woken her up, but not today. She needed rest.

Sandy pulled on his robe and walked to the kitchen. Ryan and Seth were waiting for him. They had seen him guide their mother back to the guest room.

He said nothing, and they asked nothing.

They all just knew.

"Dad, is Mom okay?" Seth finally asked. He played with the cereal in front of him. His eyes averting those of his fathers.

Sandy poured himself a cup of coffee and sliced a bagel.

"She had a rough night, Seth." He didn't know how to explain it to his sons.

"But we had a good day. I thought she was happy."

"I know. But I guess these things happen."

As lame of an explanation as it was, the boys left it alone.

The three of them ate in silence. Usually the morning rush would be filled with pointless banter and teasing.

Always three against one. Boys against girl. But Kirsten had always been able to hold her own.

Her laugh often radiated throughout the meal.

The fourth gap at the breakfast table shouted a loud statement.

They weren't whole without her.

Sandy felt like they all had just taken a step back. He was afraid they would once again begin to fall apart.

It seemed inevitable.

* * *

Seth had excused himself from the table. The morning's seemingly disastrous meal had gotten to him. He sat alone in his room, allowing the sounds of EMO to fill the walls.

Seth had heard her cry for hours. Their house may have been big, but the walls were thin.

He had sat outside of the guestroom for awhile.

He heard his father trying to soothe her.

He had heard her voice whimper over and over again, _"Please help me Sandy."_

A few times she had lost her breath.

His father hadn't been very good at hiding his inability to find an easy fix-it. They were in this for the long-haul.

Seth felt helpless. As their only child, he felt a deep, hidden connection to his mother.

Her pain was ingrained inside of him.

Every tear she shed, felt like a prick in his chest.

Every time he heard her whimper or whisper a cry for help, he felt bile rise in him.

Seth began to realize the bond between mother and son. He had always been closer to his father. Their was an ease between them.

For 17 years he'd never known how much a part of him she was.

His mother. Kirsten Nichol Cohen.

Seth knew from then on he would give her every ounce of strength he had left.

He would fight for her when she couldn't do it on her own.

He just didn't know how.

* * *

As he and the boys went their separate ways after breakfast, Sandy walked back into the room.

Her back was towards him, but he knew she was awake.

"Hey Honey."

"Hi." Her voice gave away her exhaustion. She turned to her back and began to stare at the ceiling.

Sandy crouched next to the bed, his face at her level.

"Are you feeling better?" He didn't know what exactly to ask.

"No."

_Damn. Now what? _

She looked at him. There was a new sadness in her eyes.

"Last night was different, Sandy. I've had dreams before, but never that bad. Last night felt like it all over again."

"Honey, we can't expect this to just disappear. There are going to be rough nights. We'll get through them."

"Sandy…" She sat up and he followed. "We can't do this on our own."

Kirsten began to play with her wedding ring.

Twisting it back and forth.

He wondered what she was getting at. He thought the worse and hoped for the best.

Whatever that was.

"Maybe I should see someone."

* * *

While Kirsten was in the shower, Sandy called a few numbers the doctor had referred them to. He spoke to a few of them about Kirsten, each giving an informal interview.

Only the best for his wife.

The last card he called seemed to fit.

_Dr. Leslie Kaufman_

She focused on rape patients and the effects of post-traumatic stress.

Her voice over the phone sounded firm, yet gentle.

"I can help her Mr. Cohen, but I won't force her to do or say anything."

_This has to be her idea. _

Sandy spoke very little the whole time, only filling in minor details. Even over the phone, he felt at ease.

He knew she would too.

And she had an opening for later that day.

* * *

"Can I just talk to mom for a few moments?" Seth asked just before his parents left for therapy.

"We're running kind of late, Seth." But Sandy knew his son wouldn't give up. "But go on in, I think she's decent."

Seth knocked on the door. Not his parent's door. Just another door in the house.

"Give me a minute Sandy." Her voice seemed distant.

"Mom, it's uh, Seth."

He rolled his eyes, like she wouldn't know.

"Come on in Sweetheart."

Kirsten was pushing an earring into her lobe. Her hair had quickly been pulled into a ponytail. She was on the edge of her bed.

She looked ready to go, and yet she continued to sit still.

"I'm a little bit nervous." She confessed to her son.

Seth sat close to her and put his arm around her shoulders.

"It's going to be okay." He tried to reassure her.

"You're going to be okay."

Kirsten appreciated her son's assurance.

She smiled at him. "I'm supposed to be the one comforting you."

Seth could remember all of the times she had held him.

It had been awhile.

He had grown into a teenager and it wasn't cool to let your mother hug or kiss you.

It wasn't cool to spend a moment with her. It wasn't cool to allow her the freedom to give advice or speak in general.

"Remember when I was like eight or something and you'd always kiss me and hug me?"

Kirsten remembered those days fondly. She had spent years longing for her little boy back, but loving the man he was becoming.

She knew her time would eventually come around again.

"Yeah. I felt like you adored me then." She looked at him, "But kids grow up don't they?"

Seth immediately felt a sense of guilt. She noticed immediately.

"But its okay Seth. We all go through the 'I loath my parent's existence' stage."

"I don't hate you Mom." As he said it, he knew he had done little to prove that he didn't.

Call it the hormones.

"I know Seth."

"Well, maybe you could, I don't know, if you want to, be like that again."

"I think I can manage that." Kirsten almost chocked out. She instantly wrapped her arms around him and gave him the reassurance he needed. "Everything will be fine, honey."

Kirsten let a single tear fall from her eye. But for the first time, it wasn't because of her attack.

Her son was inviting her in his life again.

* * *

The two entered Dr. Kaufman's office promptly on time. It had been easy to find, Sandy made sure beforehand.

The office they had entered was small, yet comfortable. The decorations were minimal, a few photos of France here and there, two comfortable couches.

The receptionist greeted them as they arrived.

"Can I take your coats? Care for a cup of coffee, pop?"

Both had asked for water.

He could tell she was shaky, nervous. But after her conversation with Seth, she seemed a bit more confident.

He had asked her what they had talked about in the car, but Kirsten refused to tell him.

"Dr. Kaufman will be with you in a few minutes." The receptionist said as she handed them their waters and some extra paperwork.

Kirsten tried to fill them out, but her nerves got the best of her. She swiftly gave the clipboard over to Sandy.

The wooden door suddenly opened, causing them both to jump.

"Kirsten, why don't you come one back." The woman had light brown hair, almost the color of Marissa's. She was the same height as Kirsten and wore a slimming pants suit.

Kirsten guessed it was from Gucci.

Kirsten looked from the Doctor to her husband. Her legs felt like lead.

"Do you want your husband to come back with us?"

Kirsten silently nodded. She felt like her will to speak had instantly disappeared.

Sandy stood up, took his wife's hand in his and followed the Doctor to the back room.

* * *

"Hey Seth, why don't we go out or something." Ryan was trying to get his foster brother out of the house. Even for a moment.

He felt like the walls were closing in on them.

"Nah, Ryan, I'm good for today."

Ryan rolled his eyes. Seth had been laying on his bed ever since they had left. He kept watching the clock change minutes.

"Seth come on. We need to get out of this house."

"Ryan, what's the big deal? So I want to stay in here." Seth was getting annoyed, he just wanted to be left alone.

"This isn't helping her you know."

"What?" Seth accused him.

"You, moping around."

"Shut up Ryan. You don't know anything."

"I know you acting all down around her just makes her feel guilty. I know she can barely handle her own emotions, let alone all of ours. I know she fights night after night to not cry out and scare us all."

"What are you talking about Ryan? You've only been here for two years. You don't know me and you certainly don't know her." Instantly, Seth wanted to take it all back.

Words tended to get the best of him. They too often just slide out.

"You're right. I'm sorry." Ryan got quiet and turned to leave the room.

"Look, I'm sorry, this just…this whole thing just sucks." Seth tried to apologize. "I don't know how to handle this Ryan. I hate this!"

Ryan embraced Seth.

"We're gonna make it Seth. All of us."

* * *

Dr. Kaufman watched Kirsten from the moment she entered the room. She, like most of her patients first took a glance around the setting. Dr. Kaufman had spent quite awhile picking and choosing the decorations.

She did her best to make all of her patients feel comfortable.

"Your office is nice." Sandy chimed in. He and Kirsten were sitting close to each other, still holding hands.

That was a good sign.

Dr. Kaufman gave an introduction of herself, her background.

Originally from Boston, went to college in Rhode Island and got her masters at NYU. Came to California because she feel in love with a plastic surgeon.

She had a son, two daughters and one very old dog.

Kirsten began to feel at ease. As she did her guard began to fall down.

"Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself?" Dr. Kaufman asked.

"Okay…um…Born and raised right here, went to school at Berkeley, where Sandy and I met. We have one son, well we have two, but one is our foster son. But he's actually more like our real son now." Kirsten always hated explaining the situation to strangers, but she went on. "Anyways, we moved back here after my mother got sick and haven't left yet…oh and I work for the Newport Group."

That was about it. Her life in one very small nutshell.

"Sounds like you have a wonderful family." Dr. Kaufman was surprised at how much this woman was already beginning to open up.

She could tell right away, Kirsten had an inner-strength.

They three of them shared a few more moments of small talk, before Dr. Kaufman asked the pending question.

"So Kirsten, why don't you tell me why you are here today."

It loomed in the air for a few moments. Kirsten once again began to feel uncomfortable.

"You can take all the time you want."

Kirsten felt Sandy's reassuring hand on the small of her back. She looked to him, to the Doctor, to the window.

Taking a deep breath, Kirsten began to share her story.

* * *

Kirsten walked in from the front door. Sandy has just dropped her off from her first counseling session. He had stayed with her for the entire hour, holding her shaking hand and wiping her face from tears when she couldn't do it on her own.

They had both been uncomfortable, but each made it through. Kirsten like Dr. Kaufman.

She listened without judging and spoke only when necessary.

She had given them tips to help with the nightmares, to deal with the everyday setbacks that were bound to happen.

She suggested they meet at least twice a week. Both Kirsten and Sandy agreed.

"You did good today baby." He had smiled at her as she opened the car door.

Kirsten nodded her head. She had felt weird talking to a stranger about that night, but she knew none of them could handle dealing on their own.

And she did feel better.

She shut the car door and he had driven off to go pick up the takeout dinner.

The house was quiet, she assumed the boys were in the pool house. As Kirsten walked into the main room, she noticed the flashing red light on the answering machine.

She pressed it and the familiar robotic voice reported, "You have two new messages."

First new message, "_Kirsten this is Hailey, I just heard…Dad, uh…I'm…uh…sorry…Should I come home? Call me okay?" _

Beep.

Her sister's voice was not secure as usual. Kirsten didn't want this to effect Hailey's life as well. She would call her later that night.

Beep. Second new message. Kirsten turned to face the sliding glass door. She could see the boys sitting by the pool.

As she began to pull open the door, the voice on the machine hit her.

"_**Remember me Mrs. Cohen? I'll never forget you. And I'll never forget that night…"**_

* * *

Okay…that's all for now…once again…please Review! Give me tips, suggestions, praises, criticisms….anything…be a voice!

Oh yeah, I'm trying to catch up on my reviewing too…sorry if I've been a bit lazy.


	10. Who Said Words Can Never Hurt You?

I am so sorry for the wait, I guess as the OC went on hiatus, so did the story. That and life in the real world is killing me! I'm really trying to figure this story out and get it to go where I think it deserves to go, however, I'm not sure where that actually is yet, so I apologize in advance for the writer's block that seems to be approaching.

(PS...Mariana...your emailtotally reminded me of this story...)

Once again, I don't own the characters, please don't sue…the writers and creators of the OC are masterminds, and I, a mere coattailer of their genius.

Please review, cause that always encourages me to type away…I thank you all in advance as well…

* * *

CHAPTER TEN: Who Said Words will Never Hurt You

"Mrs. Cohen, Mrs. Cohen, Mrs. Cohen…Co..hen…Kirsten." This wasn't a dream, Kirsten was living her nightmare. The voice on the answering machine, mocking her, making her skin crawl.

The same voice that had lingered in her head, twenty four hours a day.

The one that she was so close to forgetting.

_Back in a second. _

She backed away from the phone as if it were the most dangerous of snakes. Bile rose inside of her. She felt dizzy, lightheaded.

"Mrs. Cohen, we're gonna come back…"

"Tell your husband Mrs. Cohen…"

"I can't wait to see you again."

Her blinding tears led her away from the kitchen.

"Mom are you okay?" Kirsten has somehow managed to make her way into the backyard, without even realizing she had left the interior of the house.

Ryan and Seth were sitting on the sun deck, their feet dangling in the pool.

Instantly Ryan arose, walking to her. Seth followed.

Kirsten's eyes pooled, her hand grasping her mouth, her stomach lurching, gagging.

They both knew the look, they'd seen it before, but not under these same circumstances. The only time her eyes turned this shade was when she'd usually had too much to drink, but Seth knew his father had taken all the alcohol out of the house.

And this moment was different. Seth had seen a range of emotions the past few weeks, but nothing filled with this much terror. Her skin was white, almost grey.

Ryan's arms were holding her up, he tried to get her into the pool house, but he wasn't fast enough. Her knees buckling against him, she slipped to the ground.

As she fell, her stomach rose to her throat, sending with it the morning's breakfast.

"Ryan, I'm sorry…"she sobbed, trying to catch her breath, failing miserably.

"Did I get anything on you?" Kirsten continued to dry heave. Seth ran to his mother's side and took her from Ryan's grasp.

He held her like he had watched his father do, so many times before. Holding her hair back, cradling her in his lap.

Trying to calm her nervous body.

It killed him to feel her shaking in his arms. Her hands clung to his shirt. Tears leaked from her eyes.

"Mom, Mom…come on stay with me."

Kirsten continued to shake, she continued to cry, but she did so silently. Seth did his best to bring her back.

"Ryan, call Dad."

But Ryan was already one step ahead of him. He had grabbed his cell phone from the pool house and was trying to make his fingers work long enough to dial Sandy's number.

_Why was is this number not on speed dial?_

His hands were shaking so hard, he was lucky enough to keep an actual grip on the phone.

Tomorrow he would program in all of the numbers.

As it rang, Ryan prayed Sandy would pick up. The past few weeks, Sandy had barely left his wife's side, of course something like this would happen the moment he went away.

Typical.

The click of an answered phone, brought Ryan to his senses.

"Ryan, I'm just now ordering the food, can I call you back?" Sandy's rushed sentence came through.

"Sandy, something's wrong. You need to come home now." The tone in Ryan's voice instantly made Sandy worry.

He knew right away it had something to do with Kirsten.

He could hear Seth in the background.

"Mom, what happened? Come on Mom…"

Sandy began to panic, not knowing what to do, he left the line with a very confused Hostess watching him go.

"Ryan, I'll be there in a few minutes."

* * *

It felt like an eternity. The drive home was brutal. Sandy had no idea what would cause his wife to take a turn for the worse. Ryan wasn't able to tell him much.

_Just that she absently came out of the house, looking like she was going to faint. _

Sandy couldn't make his car go any faster, no matter how much he pressed the gas peddle.

He ran his fingers through his hair, briskly wiping the sweat from his brow. Sandy was trying to focus on the road, but all he could think about was his wife.

Her blonde hair.

Her blue eyes.

The way she could light up a room with a simple smile.

How all of it, all of her, had almost been taken away from him once before.

How he refused to let it happen again.

Pulling up in the driveway, Sandy didn't waste time taking the keys out of the ignition.

He could feel her the instant he entered the house.

He swiftly pulled open the front door, making his way to the backyard, not letting anything distract him.

Yanking the sliding glass door open, Sandy's heart broke at the sight before him.

His sons hovering their mother. His wife unresponsively still, her lips slightly moving.

"I want Sandy, Please Seth, get him."

He saw where she had gotten sick, just a few feet from where she was now lying in Seth's arms. He rushed to her, falling to his knees.

"Kirsten, come on Kirsten, look at me baby."

Sandy tried his best to get her to focus on himself.

To get her blue eyes to meet his brown.

Kirsten's face was covered in tears. He grabbed her clammy hand as he held her close to him. She rolled into his arms, her body radiating heat.

"She keeps talking about some sort of message. It doesn't make any sense. I have no idea what she is saying."

In his mind, Seth was actually screaming, "Dad fix my Mother. Make her better."

It was Ryan's voice that piped up. "I think I know what's wrong."

He had gone into the kitchen to grab a cool cloth for Kirsten's forehead, when he saw the flashing button on the answering machine.

"There's a, an um message on the machine. It's them."

_Them. _

Sandy and Seth knew who _they_ were without an explanation.

_They were back and they were beginning to push it. _

"What did it say Ryan?" Seth asked his brother.

Ryan had no idea how to explain their words to his foster family. The voices had been so cold, so uncaring.

Evil.

Ryan felt like smashing the machine into the wall, but for once he was restrained.

He would save it for the time they would come face to face.

The two Cohen men looked at him with eyes begging for answers.

"It was…I just…they…"

"It's okay Ryan." Sandy looked at him in understanding.

Ryan wished there was some way Kirsten didn't have to be the one to first press that button. To first hear them.

It was like she had been attacked again, and again no one had been there to protect her.

"Call the police Ryan, and Doctor Stedman. His number's on the fridge."

* * *

Seth was left alone in his room. The police had arrived a few minutes after the Physician who administered a sedative to his mother had.

Sandy had carried his wife into the living room, placing her on the couch, as the doctor swabbed her arm and swiftly gave her body a relaxant.

She instantly calmed, but still aware of her surroundings.

"Sa…Sandy," she stuttered.

"Shh, honey. Let the medicine work its magic."

"N..no, I…I don't wa...want to…sle.."

Seth had watched her lay still. He saw her eyes move around the room, making no sound.

Her blue irises pooled, filled with glaze and covered in fear.

The doctor hadn't taken away her pain, he had only made her paralyzed to it.

He had wanted to yell at the doctor,

"Give her something stronger."

But he knew that was impossible. There was no drug that could erase memories.

"Seth, Ryan, why don't you give us a few moments." Sandy had spoke to him. He looked behind his back at the two boys. His hand still stroking hers.

Seth had obliged, not wanting to leave the room, but thankful for the chance. He no longer knew how to push aside his feelings, he longer knew how to deal.

He had listened to the cold voices on the answering machine. His skin crawled at the thought of their heartless hands touching his mother in anyway. Anger rose inside of him at the game they seemed determined to play with her, with his father.

They too were playing with him.

And like any Cohen or Nichol alike, Seth would not let them win.

* * *

Sandy held his breath as he watched the doctor prick his wife with another needle.

She slightly twitched. Kirsten looked up at him, her silent thoughts clear.

_This isn't going to work. _

_This needle won't make them go away._

_This is not over. _

"Relax Baby." Sandy whispered into her ear.

As much as he wanted the words to soothe her, Sandy was at a loss. His only comfort to her was the hand she held and the stroking of her blonde locks.

He thought back to the last time he held her trembling body in this very same position.

17 years ago.

The day Seth was born.

The pain was there, different of course, but he had been equally as worried about her.

"_Kirsten, it's going to be okay. Just one more push," the doctor advised. _

"_No it's not. Sandy it hurts so much. I swear to god this is it." _

_Sandy wiped her forehead, he tied back her hair. He kissed her and stroked her face. _

"_No…..more….kids…" she bitterly twisted out. _

_As soon as Seth was born, her demeanor instantly changed. They both feel in love with him from that very first moment. _

Sandy couldn't help but think back to that day. To one of his family's shining moments.

Today wasn't as joyful.

"Mr. Cohen," the doctor broke into his mind. "I've given her a second sedative that will hopefully last the next few hours. I'm also calling in additional sleeping aids for tonight. Just in case."

The doctor looked at him with quizzical eyes. He felt bad for this family. They had been through so much already.

"You know Mr. Cohen, if you need anything at all, for yourself I mean, just call me."

Sandy was thankful for the offer, but declined.

"I wish I could sleep this off, but for her, I can't."

The doctor nodded. He shook Sandy's hand and walked to the door.

As Sandy let the man out, he turned his attention to the officers surrounding the answering machine. He watched them from the foyer.

"This is brutal," He overheard.

"It's disgusting." Another commented. "I mean sure, her father isn't well liked and she sort of represents his empire, but who would go this low?"

"It's because she is an easy target. Kirsten Cohen is Newport's IT woman. She is the center of this family and this town. Everyone knows her, her family relies on her and whoever is doing this knows that."

_By hurting her, this person is hurting them all. _

"What makes you so sure? The night of the first attack specified its relevance to her husband."

"Erm." Sandy cleared his throat, making his presence known.

"Mr. Cohen, how are you doing?" Detective Steward asked. Sandy recognized him from before. He had been at the hospital that night.

How was _he_ doing?

For some reason the question monopolized him. Confused him. Sandy didn't know quite how to respond.

He did not know how _he_ was doing.

"Detective, are you married?" Sandy out of the blue asked. He leaned against the wall as he watched the officers glance at each other.

Each wondering what the distraught husband was getting at.

"Yeah, fourteen years." Detective Steward slowly spoke. He set his small notepad on the island table.

"How about you?" Sandy eyed another officer.

"Five years next week."

"You love them?" As silly as the question was, Sandy posed it to the silent room.

"More then anything." Detective Steward responded.

"Kirsten and I have been married for twenty years and to this day, just seeing her gives me goose bumps. I love to watch her when she doesn't think anyone is looking. She's her most beautiful then."

"I know what you mean Mr. Cohen." A quiet officer piped in. The others turned in his direction.

He just shrugged. "Well, I do. I just got married last year, but I understand."

Sandy smiled, but instantly bit it away. "Knowing that someone else is doing the same thing, but only to hurt her burns a fire inside of me."

"Mr. Cohen, we are doing everything we can to find them. Your father-in-law has hired his own investigators."

"Up until a few weeks ago, Kirsten looked at me everyday in the same way."

Sandy thought back to one of the many pre-dawn moments he had spent with her.

"_I love waking up with you." He smiled at her tired eyes. She stifled a yawn and pulled the blankets around her shoulders. _

"_The pleasure is all mine." Kirsten laughed as she curled into his arms. He kissed her forehead and faced him. _

_He cupped her chin in his hand and pulled her even closer. _

"_You know Baby, every morning before you say anything, you give me that look. _

"_What look?" _

"_You know, that 'I'm going to be quiet for a second and just stare' look."_

"_That stare Mr. Cohen is none of your business."_

"_Come on, what are you thinking? If it's about my morning breath, and whether or not you should kiss me…"_

"_I just take a moment to….it's kind of silly…I just thank God for giving me another day with you." _

_She broke eye contact with him, her internal sense to not share hidden emotion building._

"_Baby, I wouldn't have it any other way."_

"_What time is it?" Kirsten asked. _

"_Six." _

"_Oh… I don't have to be up for another hour." _

"_Are you implying something Mrs. Cohen?" The mischief glowing in his own eyes. _

"_Just that I can sleep for sixty more minutes." She smiled as she turned her back towards him. "Unless you have a better idea." _

"_I think I can muster up one or two." _

"She's as stubborn as hell, can definitely hold her own, but she always believed I would be there for her. In an instant the security we built with one another was gone. They made her doubt, they broke her into pieces and just when she began to feel safe again, they continue to play with her."

"Sandy, I can't imagine what…"

"They made my wife cry. Detective, what would you do if someone purposely made your wife of 14 years cry?"

Detective Steward had no idea how to respond. He was used to asking the questions, not giving the answers.

But Sandy had hit a nerve.

The Detective shifted his weight, picturing in his mind the implied event. He could feel himself begin to boil. He could see his own wife in that same position. He tried to distance himself, to become neutral again, but he for once felt this man's anguish.

The case Detective Steward had taken on just became that more personal. He had tried on Sandy Cohen's shoes and the passion raging inside of him made him more determined to solve the case.

Seeing the officer's demeanor change, Sandy spoke.

"Detective, add in the fact that whoever is causing her pain, is doing it on your behalf."

He let his words resonate. Sink into their minds and eat away at them like the past few weeks had done to his own family.

"That is how I feel. You know, I don't know what's worse. The event or the aftermath. I thank God each moment for her just being alive, but..." Sandy looked away, "But I swear to God I will kill whoever is doing this to her."


	11. The Beginning of the End

**I hope you all haven't forgotten about this story! It's been awhile I know…Sorry for the delay. I was having a bit of writer's block and today inspiration finally hit me…This is a short one, it's kind of the last of the depressing ones,but if you review, the next one will be what we are all waiting for! **

**Disclaimer: Still not mine, but excited for the real creators to bring us Season III. **

* * *

**Chapter 11: The Beginning of the End **

It was never about Newport.

The dark haired man tossed the day old newspaper aside. His frustration lingered across his face.

"Come on Sandy. You were never this stupid."

_Maybe California bleached all the sense out of him. _

This was solely about himself and Sandy Cohen. Not Orange County, not his status, not his wife and not his son.

The two of them were unfortunate pawns of the game.

They were what made his hatred of Sandy Cohen so fun. They were easy targets. Although, the ruckus he was causing across a whole county made him all the more content.

_An added bonus. _

But the Police so far had gotten it completely wrong.

The truth was simple.

This was about how one man's past will always, always catch up with him.

* * *

"Kirsten, you have to eat something. Really, it's not your decision anymore." Caleb sternly spoke to his daughter, through her bedroom door.

He had tried to visit her every day since the phone call, but she had refused to see him face to face.

She would call out through the door, telling him she was fine, but Caleb knew her better then she thought he did.

"Dad, I'm fine, really please. You have a lot of work to do."

"Kirsten, now I'm only going to say this once. You mean more to me then the Newport Group, now please talk to me on the same side of the door."

The room got silent, Caleb rolled his eyes.

_Good grief._

Women. Even daughter women.

She was as stubborn as he was.

But this time, Kirsten complied. Slowly opening her door, she glided past him.

Caleb took an internal gasp. She had changed so much. There was such a big difference from the days following the attack to now. Let alone how she looked before any of this started.

Kirsten had lost a considerable amount of weight. She had always been a small, healthy looking woman, but now it looked as if she could easily break.

Her hands were shaking, she tried to hide it, but Caleb noticed right away. And as he leaned in to kiss her cheek, he first felt her pull slightly away, but it was the coldness of her body that took him by surprise.

She seemed to be freezing inside out.

Worst of all were her eyes. They were hollow, dead. They no longer sparkled with a hidden delight. Caleb had loved looking into them and seeing his daughter's soul. Now all he could see was nothing, emptiness.

He took it all in and Kirsten watched him do so. She wished she had the strength to have gotten dressed that morning, but all she had on was her nightgown and a thin robe.

"You are just like your mother. She was just as good at communicating between doors as you are."

"Look dad, I'm not really in the mood right now."

"Kiki it's been almost a week. Nothing's happened since then."

He had been right, nothing had happened since the phone calls. Nothing except for sleepless nights, complete loss of appetite and no desire to leave the house.

Oh, and not to forget an unending amount of pure fear.

"Dad, I just. I know. I can't." Kirsten had nothing left to say. She'd made up enough excuses. Leading her father to the couch, she fell into it.

"I'm trying so hard to deal with this. I really am."

Caleb was frustrated, he tried to hide it, but Kirsten knew instantly.

"I'm sorry Dad, I know you're worried. I know all of Orange County is concerned. I know we are all wondering when I plan on bouncing back…But this doesn't just go away. This is here forever."

* * *

Sandy had gone out early to surf. He had hoped to be back before Kirsten or the boys awoke, but he also needed time away.

As he sat on the beach, waxing his board, Sandy thought about the last few weeks. He replayed all of the events in his head, hoping one would trigger some sort of clue. Each time, he came up with nothing. Not knowing who was behind it all was beginning to eat away at him.

He was starting to feel useless. Not only as a husband, but as a father, as a protector. His wife was slowly disappearing. His kids were uncharacteristically quiet and sullen. Nobody smiled anymore, nobody laughed.

They were like zombies.

Sandy had always been able to fix things. He prided himself in being able to rationally solve any problem.

"_That's why we're a perfect pair Sandy Cohen." He remembered Kirsten saying early on. "You can fix anything. No matter how bad I feel, how low I get, you fix it." _

_Not anymore_, he thought bitterly.

"Damn you!" Sandy yelled to the ocean.

He sat on the sand, gripping it through his hands and watched the waves crash in and out. As one of the only patrons on the beach, he allowed himself to finally cry.

* * *

"Mom," Seth inquired as he sat next to Kirsten on the couch. She had yet to move since her conversation with her father ended. He had left soon thereafter and she resigned to taking a quick nap before the family woke up.

"Yeah?" She jumped.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah Seth, I'm fine."

"Do you maybe want me to make you a bagel?"

"No that's okay."

"Coffee?"

"No, really I'm fine."

"An omelet or a toaster strudel?"

"No thank you."

"A poptart?"

"Seth, what is this about?"

He looked over to her, his brown eyes filled with concern. She should have just accepted the bagel.

"Nothing. I just want to offer you my services."

"I'm fine really. Just not hungry."

"Mom, you haven't been hungry in a week."

Kirsten closed her eyes. Her son had an overpowering effect on her. She couldn't say no to him. Ever.

"A bagel sounds great."

* * *

"We have an oversize envelope for Mr. Cohen." A UPS man in brown walked over to Sandy.

Sandy had spent an extra hour on the beach. He had come home in just a few minutes prior, and was beginning to wash off his surfboard.

"That would be me." Sandy said as he reached for the clipboard to sign his name. "Have a good day fellows."

Sandy shut the door behind him. He walked towards the kitchen as he ripped the seal open. In the background he could hear Seth and Ryan rambling on. He assumed Kirsten was in their with them.

"_Hope she's eating something." He thought to himself._

Out of the envelope fell a number of photos. Some black and white, some colored.

All of Kirsten.

Kirsten with Seth and Ryan entering the house.

Kirsten by his side at a fundraising function.

Kirsten on her own outside of the Gym.

Kirsten in the pool,

with a glass of wine,

speaking on the phone in their bedroom.

One of her on that night. Before the blindfold. The fear so clearly evident on her face.

Sandy took a deep breath as he fumbled through each photo.

The perpetrators were so close, for what seemed to be a long time. Some of the pictures had been taken months ago.

A paperclip held a scrunched note to the back of the bundle, forcing it to be the last item looked at.

"_You're family is beautiful Mr. Cohen. I wish mine had the opportunity to flourish the way yours has. Kirsten is magnificent, I have enjoyed getting to know her these past few months. She reminds me of my Angie. My son should have been about Seth's age. My daughter would have turned 21 today. _

It took Sandy a few moments to register the note.

_Angie. _

The name was common, but for some reason he knew there was an underlying meaning.

_Angie. Angie. Angie. _

The name repeated in his head, over and over again, until he finally made a connection.

He took a sharp breath and dropped the final pictures.

In that very instant, Sandy knew the identity of his worst enemy. He knew the man behind his wife's brutal attacks. He knew the reason, he knew the rhyme.

And for an instant he felt a twinge of sympathy.

But that instant quickly diminished and was filled with an intense need for revenge.

Sandy held the note in his hand and read the last three words over and over again.

"_Let's finish this." _

_

* * *

_

**Okay, so I have finally figured out who the bad man is! It took forever, but I hope its not too much of a stretch…If you want more please review…I have the next chapter close to being finished (Surprise, I know) and you'll learn quite quickly who the culprit is. **


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